


Wicked Game  [  discontinued ]

by randomnessUnicorn



Category: Cuphead (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bigotry & Prejudice, Blasphemy, Blood and Torture, Comfort/Angst, Domestic Violence, Evil, Gen, Hell, Horror, Psychological Torture, Reader-Insert, Religious Discussion, Religious Fanaticism, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 02:10:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12854490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomnessUnicorn/pseuds/randomnessUnicorn
Summary: [ King Dice x Neutral! Reader ]The reader decides to run away from home after a life of abuses and, wandering accross desolated landes, they find themselves in the Devil's Casino without they have even realized it.They tempt fate, tempted by the enigmatic and charming dice man.Who knows if the Karma will be generous with them once in their life...





	1. Wandering through the Uknown

The full moon accompanied your steps towards unknown destinations and even the stars were laughing at you and at your misery because you did not feel so well tonight. Your stomach was grumbling but it was not because of the hungry. It was the nausea, _la douleur de vivre_. Your life was not so bright and you had nothing that could cheer up your days and these days were so dull and noisy for you and all the persons around you seemed not to care about it, but you did not complain because you just wanted to be alone in this dryness.   
It was ten past eleven but it was not so late and this last period you did not sleep so much. Even your appearance was neglected, those two deep bags under your eyes made you a living death and you were walking through this city like a zombie in search of brains.   
The desire of sleep, just like any other desires, was vanished, you just found yourself wandering around the city, and you just followed your steps and the dark alleys of the town.

  
The idea of staying at home with that shrew of your mother made you sick and she always found a way to make you feel like a zero. She and her bigot’s mania was your worst nightmare. She treated you just like a puppet, indoctrinating your mind with ideas and belief that in your ears sounded like horrid lies. Her Rosary that she used like a whip left its mark on your skin. Your mother said it was God’s punishment against your sins and you had to suffer just like our Saviour to expiate your guilt. The only guilt you had was to stay alive, and it was unfair. While she tormented you, giving you those moments of ultraviolence without you could realize the reason of this madness and you did not even know what horrible sins you have committed, she recited Bible verses with her voice so solemn and deep. It was a macabre show made of torture and sanctity. What should have been good seemed too bad and your eyes were unable to discern a sincere caress from a slap in the face since they appeared identical to you. With a kiss on your forehead, your ferocious mother left you like this. The Judas kiss, because your sufferance was your salvation and she only did what was the best for you. She hit you for your sake. The pains were not something that scared you, and you did not care anymore, you became so insensitive to pain and emotions that her words flowed like river’s water that reached the vast ocean and you lost the real meaning of this reality- if a meaning truly existed. 

  
The desire that burned in your soul was to escape, running away from this life, so you took an impulsive decision and you did not want to come back home the next morning. Maybe it was your first sin -and it could be your last- of your life but you did not care. You have stolen some money from your mother’s donation box, money that she wanted to donate to her Church. She thought that buying a ticket to Heaven was so easy, and you spit on the empty box, taking its content. Your mother and her hypocrite faith made you vomit.

  
The light of the street lamps were illumining your way and everything became darker, you could not recognize the place where you were going because every corners looked unknown and spectral. This atmosphere did not scare you and the more you distanced yourself from your home, the more you felt free. A gelid breeze caressed you skin that made dancing through the wind a bunch of dry leaves, and with your eyes you followed the little tornado that reached the moon. It seemed that some fairies were dancing into the night.  
Keeping walking, you realized you reached a part of the city you have never noticed and there were no people around, like it was a ghost town. You started worrying because it was too dark and the lamp’s light stopped to illuminate your way as if the dark ate their flares.

  
Sound of steps made you return to the reality and maybe you could ask to those people some indications, where you were. When you turned your head in their direction, you gasped, and you were unable to distinguee their figures but you could understand their conversation so you hid yourself behind a trash can, eavesdropping their words.  
"Don’t ya hear about that guy who lost his soul? Nobody sees him from a week, he’s vanished into tiny air" said the mysterious man , his voice was loud and raspy.  
"He should have thought twice before betting his soul to the Devil, he asked for it!" answered the other man to his friend, and he did not seem so perplexed, not as perplexed as you, because what that man said was absurd but you kept listening to them.  
"Do you believe it’s the devil in person? It sounds like a rumour." you also thought it could not be possible and maybe your ears were defective.  
"No, man. You don’t see that place, it’s full of abnormal creatures even if people say they are just costumes or crazy tricks. If this was true, hats off, sirs. They’re very well done!" the other man did not seem so sceptical and he believed a man lost his soul but you did not understand. This story caught your curiosity so you decided to follow them when they declared their destination.  
"I’m pretty curious of seeing this place, but I don’t have money to bet. If they will be content with some beans…" he chuckled and they still did not notice you, thanks to the darkness you could not be seen.  
"But they want your soul not your beans, idiot" the friend laughed, if the demons were content to prepare a soup of beans, it was a great affair.  
"I don’t feel particularly lucky, but a look can’t kill, isn’t it?" his friend said and then they kept walking for several minutes until they reached a huge place. It seemed a castle and you wondered how and when it was built, it seemed it appeared from day to night and everyone already knew it. You have never gambled and your mother considered any games a temptation created by Satan himself and maybe it was true considering the words those men said and raising your head you could notice a big sign that said “The Devil’s Casino”. You thought it was a coincidence even if you heard too many stories about the devil and even your mother believed in him. Anyway, you decided to explore this edifice. Just a look could not kill, like the other man said before. 

  
Everything seemed so surreal and grotesque. Were you fallen in the rabbit hole and now you were in some darker version of Wonderland? You could not believe in your eyes, all you could perceive was a smell of smoke, the slot machine’s sounds and the evil laughs of people who were not people because they were deformed monsters that had the most extravagant appearances. There were animated objects, skeletons and other creatures that you would expect to find in some horror movies and not in a remote Casino in the middle of nowhere and you had no idea how you got here. Maybe it was just a dream, you had to wait for the morning to come, but it was not going to come…

  
You’ve been jerked by some entities, you did not know how to define these creatures, and you lost your equilibrium and some malicious eyes were staring at you because you were the stranger here. You were the outsider, as a human you were noticed by everyone. In that moment, you just wanted to vanish; your footsteps got faster searching for a place to hide but your mind was still dizzy, you needed to breathe some fresh air and evading from this hell. Yes, it was hell and maybe it was your punishment for your sins. The same sins your mother talked about. Maybe she was right and it was the will of God, you were lost. You were dead.  
The atmosphere was demoniac and psychedelic, and, as you walked, those creatures became scarier. You lost those two men, the ones you found in the street, and maybe you should have spoken with them, following them with your glance since they were humans like you, and maybe you did not find yourself in this situation.   
These noises caused to you a terrible headache, you coughed different times because of the smoke, but your attention was taken by a voice. It was a familiar voice, it was one of the men. He was so far, to your ears it appeared like a whisper, and you decided to follow it, maybe they could help you. As the voice became louder, you could perceive fear in it, that man was screaming, he was about to cry. A crowd of monsters surrounded him, they were exulting, yelling and cursing, you felt so dirty only hearing those terrible words.   
That man was imploring for his soul and you recalled that discourse about the devil and his bets. Now it was clear or, at least, you could say those two men were saying the truth and this place was cursed. 

 

***

 

This was the first time you saw him, while you were crushed by the monsters crowd, yours and his eyes met, a shiver of fear crossed your spine. On the background, the screams of that poor man echoed through the area. His soul was lost, and he would have thought twice before betting with King Dice.   
At first, you thought it was all a performance, nothing about it could be real. The tears, the fears and the prayers that man were invoking were real. You asked yourself what would remain of that man, if the devil took his soul what was going to happen? Was he going to burn in hell?

  
"No, please! Have mercy of me!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, but Dice was inflexible and a bet was a bet. He won, that man lost, that was all and there was no possibilities to come back in time. None had that power.  
Dice smirked, saying with his calm and soave tone of voice, "As much fun as this is, time’s money and so many souls, too. I don’t have any of these to lose." King took a brief pause and even if his eyes pointed to that man, it seemed he was watching every persons present in this hall like he possessed million eyes. Then, he continued, "Y'are the one who lost. Ya must pay" his tone was so professional but unemotional, and the man started crying. Nothing violent or horrible happened because the pain that man felt was inner and he was the only one who could understand his own pain. He was alone for the eternity from now. His friend was disappeared and you imagined he got the same horrid fate but you were not that curious to find it out and you wanted to go away until Dice kept talking again and he searched for another bet. Who could be his next victim? 

  
"The stakes gets higher, someone of you visitors do dare to challenge the Dice?" a blaze of darkness surrounded his figure and all the crowd silenced itself. No answer but only a disturbing silence contaminated by the noises of the slot machines in operation and the beats of the pulsating hearts.  
"No fellas?"  the dice man seemed a little disappointed for the lack of cooperation and this made him more determinate. His eyes turned green for a moment and it was like he was X-raying every person’s inside. It was an unpleasant sensation, as if you were naked and inert, his eyes pointed on you. 

  
Dice scrutinized the misery in your eyes, your soul was so damaged. You were like a fly trapped inside a glass and the poor insect crushed on the cold surface inert and fragile, unable to escape. Maybe it was a favour he wanted to do to you or, what was more plausible, it was another trap but you still did not have anything to lose and you had no desire to come back home. No torture would have been worse than the ones you suffered in your home that was not a home, it was a prison, the place where you died every day. Where you consumed your wretched existence. 

  
"What do ya think?" he completely took you unprepared, and you stayed in silence for a time that seemed an eternity. In this moment, you and him were the only ones to be in this place –apparently-, it was just a sensation but you forgot about all the other guests and you lost yourself staring in his eyes as if he was hypnotizing you.   
Sooner or later, you would have lost your soul anyway, and even your mother said you were condemned to Hell for reasons unknown to you, so it was only a matter of time. The confusion in your mind could not be quantified and Dice’s eyes did not help because he kept watching you with his lascivious grin. He was daring you to bet, and truth must be told, he wanted to know the reason why your soul was almost reduced to pieces but it appeared purer than all the ones he saw, and there was nothing better than a pure and suffering soul. Pain just made everything more candid, he perceived a sentiment of tenderness seeing you, or it was sadism, maybe. Nobody could tell.  

  
So many times, Dice asked himself if the true hell was the Earth itself, because it seemed only the innocent ones were born to suffer. The Devil should have taken some examples from the humans about how to be ruthless.     
If you had to go to hell, you needed to sin at least once, so the blame would be worthy, and you still promised to yourself not to return at home. You had no way to run away and you were trapped by his eyes, the choice was only one: to bet.  
"I accept the challenge…" you said with a tremulous voice and it was all he wanted to hear and his eyes went wide just like his sinister smile.   
"Ya won’t regret… And neither do I, darling." he declared with his persuasive voice while you have not already realized in what kind of troubles you got yourself into.


	2. Lost Sheep

"Mother… Mother….Where are you? " you searched for your mother all over the house, with a little bouquet of violets in your hands that you wanted to donate to her. They were so colourful and beautiful, a sweet fragrance caressed your nostrils while you ran and some petals fell down to the ground leaving a trace of your passage. You kept screaming but none answered at your call so maybe your mother was not at home and you were talking with the air. This air was a dirty air; it smelled like dust and mould, because your mother did not pay a lot of attention to the home cleaning and so many times, you have to think about it doing the cleaning jobs for her.

  
Actually, you did not consider yourself like Cinderella because for you it was not a weight or a torture, you loved cleaning your house and it was still your home and living between the spider webs and rats did not make you feel comfortable. Then, you could distract and be alone with yourself. Cleaning was the only leisure you could have since, in her opinion, you should have spent all your free time reading the bible, praying and doing any activities that concerned religion and, how anyone could understand, they were not activities with which a child could have fun. The cleaning jobs helped you to escape from your Christian’s duties and maybe it was something more useful than praying or speaking with God.  
Your mother was nowhere to be found and maybe she was vanished into thin air, so you called her name again, "Moth—" when your voice fainted suddenly, hearing a voice. Her voice.

  
"Oh, God!" your mother yelled at the top of her lungs and you remained immobilized in front of her closed door so you posed your ear on it trying to hear what she was saying but her voice became a sigh and it was difficult to understand the words that came out from her lips. You supposed she was praying, this was one of the activities she practiced the most. She was devoted to God, but she was devoted in ways you could not even imagine…  
"Oh, Lord, you live in the Kingdom of Heaven, bless my soul…" said your mother with solemnity but there was something else. You opened, trying to be more careful and silent possible, the door, slowly. Shivers of fear were crossing your spine, you were not allowed to be here, and if your mother had found it out it would have not been a good surprise for you.  
Your mother was laying on the bed and it seemed she was too concentrate to her prayer to notice you. Her breath was heavier and from her mouth came out heavy breaths and sighs and you started worrying, thinking she had spams. She needed your assistance – thought your innocent mind- so, when you were going to show up yourself to help your mother, she spoke again with a louder voice and there was something strange in her voice that, at first, you did not recognize.

  
"My Lord, take me, I’m yours… Bring me to Heaven! " with your eyes wide open, incredulous in front of the scene that appeared in front of your sight, you held a gasp. That strange sensation, the origin of her screams was relating to lust even if you did not understand well the nature of her action because you were still an innocent child who has not experimented the sin of lust yet, but your instinct told you your mother was sinning. This was an awful truth to discover and you were shocked, tears fell down from your eyes while she was still screaming God’s name with her sinful mouth.

  
"God, my Saviour. I’ll be your forever!" she was touching herself, lifting her long skirt to show her slim and deformed legs that seemed the legs of a puppet or a branch of a tree. She opened her legs, inserting her own fingers inside her intimacy while she screamed the lord’s name in vain until her spasms became more luxurious and louder, you did not believe your eyes. Your violets were drowning under your own tears, which you were unable to hold back.  
"Oh, God, please…Come inside me… Yes!" your state of mind was so devastated that you were unable to decipher her words or her intentions. Everything just appeared so wrong in your eyes. So macabre and obscure and you refused to see this scene one more minute.

  
For all the rest of that day, you hid yourself in your room and, the moment you locked your door, you could hear the ultimate scream of your mother. Her yells of ecstasy echoed in the house as if they were ancient ghosts that paralyzed your body; your hands covered your ears, while she thanked God again.

 

***

 

Your vision blacked out and you came back to this reality, the sweat wet your forehead and your breath was heavy and irregular. It was as if you were emerged from the oceanic abyss. It was the abyss of your mind. Of your memories that did not stop to torment you, you shivered like a leaf on a tree during an autumnal night.  
You forgot where you were, what you were doing, all the audience made of abominable monsters that surrounded you, and they perceived your fears. They laughed of your fears and your terror was their primal source of nutrition.

  
"Our guest seems distraught" as you heard his voice, your state of mind got back sober even if this reality was too absurd to accept and you were so confused that you just stared at his green eyes without saying a single word. At the contrary of what you should have thought, Dice was not angry with you and he appeared so calm and relaxed while you were as tense as a bungee cord that was about to crack.  
"Do ya want to make a prayer before the game starts?" remarked Dice, noticing the particular pendant you wore, it was a golden crucifix and it was a gift your mother gave you to have God always by your side. This detail made the dice man a little disappointed but he seemed also so amused because it was rare seeing a believer in a place like this.

He asked himself if you were a sort of lost sheep and he would have been glad to show you the right path to follow. Actually, his thought was not completely wrong because you were so unsure about your faith. You were not an atheist and you were not even a sinner, but you were alarmed and sad, alone and lost in this mad world.  
"Did they take the wrong way? The church is on the other side!" said a monster and everyone laughed at his joke and you felt so embarrassed. This made your situation more complicated than before.  
You held your crucifix tightly as if it could help you for real but you were sure that praying was useless. It was useless in everyday life, much less in a demoniac place like this and you supposed sacred items lost their power in this place and maybe you were not even allowed to wear them here.

  
After a long silent and everyone supposed you became mute, you answered, keeping your head down, "No, I don’t!" and Dice was glad hearing it from you since nobody here had the patience to hear a sermon or some moralist declaration.  
"Oh, well! Let’s get this show on the road!" proclaimed Dice and all the crowd went wild. You just nodded not so sure about what was going to happen. An intense flash blinded you, as everything appeared so psychedelic and abnormal in your mind and the environment became so illuminated and effervescent that you asked yourself if you were in the same place.

  
In front of you, there was a big game table, King was staring at you with malice, curiosity, his figure, compared to yours, appeared so majestic and fearsome, and you questioned to yourself if he was the true Devil but you were just a lost soul in this Calvary. You held your breath trying to stay calm or, at least, appear calm since you were freaking out from your head to your feet.  
His smile was wide open, he was as if he was swinging to the rhythm of your beating heart, you kept your head down concentrating your vision to the table that was very huge, and coloured with words and numbers written on it and you had no idea of the meaning of all of this. Everything appeared just like a mysterious and alien symbolism for you.

  
"It’s such a shame a pure creature like you ended up in a damned place like this, have you lost your way home?" asked Dice, and his gaze never left you so you tried to look through his eyes but you found yourself caught again. You were not sure if you had to say the real reason why you were here.  
You took a deep breath before you answered, "I’m here by mistake, I just got lost" none in this hall was so stupid to believe your little lies, and King shook his head, showing a disapproval expression but it vanished instantly and his wicked smile appeared again.  
"Pure souls don’t tell lies" Dice smirked but the fact that you were not a complete candid soul was a gratification for him. You have still stolen your mother’s money and it was not a pure action, this fact came back to your mind and you understood lying was useless here. You were going to lose your soul, to disappear from this awful existence so you had no more secrets to keep or lies to tell. Everything was unworthy at this point.

  
"Pure souls don’t exist…" with your eyes still lowered, you confessed your inner thought. Nobody in this world was total good or total bad. Just like the ancient Chinese philosophy said, the yin and the yang could not live without the other. This was the equilibrium of the universe, the basis of life.  
"Well well, you have finally decided to speak. See, ladies and gentlemen, they’re not mute." all the crowd applauded like if they wanted to encourage you to talk about your story or philosophy of life even if you were not so enthusiasm to tell your thoughts and memories to them, so you decided not to answer keeping your mouth closed while you looked at the void in front of you.

  
"Ah, they’re so shy, why don’t you fellas be quite for a moment. They will never confide us their secrets if they are afraid so…" his eyes went wide open and he put his hand under his chin, observing you like if you were an object and not a person. You were a form of entertainment and people here could not get bored because of your lack of cooperation so Dice decided to make this game more interesting. You were still silent and impassive.  
"Let’s make this bet more stimulating" his voice made you worried and you swallowed some saliva as the light became more dazzling and you had to cover your eyes with your hands.

  
Everyone was waiting for your answer even this time, so you said «What? », you did not want to know in what way this game could be more interesting and you were so sick of everything.  
"You don’t have a lot to say, we’ll help you to open up a little more, darling" said Dice with a soft tone that scared you to death because it was obvious his intentions were not gentle. Then, he kept speaking again, " For every victory, you have to confess something about your distressed soul to us, are you in?" Dice was still sure your soul was pure despite your little theft and it was a theft he would approve and he could not wait to listen to your little secrets. It might appear not so useful for him but he would have obtained your soul anyway, so it was better to have fun as much as possible.

  
You were not a lucky person so you did not hope to win not even one time and you would have brought your secrets with you in your grave. This game was strange, you did not understand what Dice’s real purpose was, and maybe he just wanted to play with your little mind to entertain himself and all this audience.  
"Ok, I accept…" with the usual insecurity of your voice, you said and whatever would happen you were designated to lose some part of your dignity.  
"So, what do you offer for this match?" you really did not want to offer your soul, it was too odd and the instinct for survival told you to protect yourself. Yes, you wanted to leave your mother but you wanted to live too, despite you were so sad and confused, this was an instinct every human possessed. Then, you remembered the money you stole from your mother and maybe they could be useful for your aim and this was still a Casino, here cash flew but you had to be parsimonious and smart if you did not want to lose everything and then you would not have anything else to offer, other than your miserable soul.

  
"I have this…" you said showing your cash even if you have not even counted it and you were not so attached to money, you were not a materialist person. Your mother always spoke about humility, you had to be careful not to be tempted by the sin of avarice, and you still did not understand since she was the one who possessed money and not you. Your mother was so greedy and the only good actions she did possessed always an ulterior motive since her charity was a mere ostentation of her fake generosity. More you thought about her and more you understood how she was a true sinner.

  
"Looks like our guest doesn’t joke" from your appearance, nobody could say you were a rich person, and you did not wear designer clothes. Dice could understand something was wrong in you and he felt more curious than before, he chuckled before he continued, "Where did you steal all this money?" the crowd remained surprised and so many people started saying that maybe you were not that pure and you were going to burn in hell for all these sins. You just ignored them and you did not know how to answer to him because he guessed right and he could find out if you lied so you had to be careful with your words.  
"I took them from my mother, she didn’t know but I intend to give them back to her quickly." the crowd started mocking you saying how your heart was gold, you were worried about your mommy, what a precious child you were.

  
"Oh, but they are a lot of money and you have still stolen them from her. Are you sure to win?" King found you too amusing since you appeared so naive and he did not define you like a true sinner. Your action was just an infantile prank but your next phrase convinced him about your innocent mind.  
"Uhm, but they’re just pieces of paper…" you have never understood the true value of money, you just knew they were used for buying things and most of these things were useless, in your opinion. It seemed that your mother had booked a suite in Paradise if she had all that money aside, there were so many banknotes of 100 $ and some of 500 $ and maybe they were the saving of months since she was greed and she did not spend so much her money. It was absurd she wanted to give to the Church all this money but it was more absurd that you were going to lose all of it for a gambling, and she always said that gambling was the Devil’s work. You were committing the greatest sin of your life and you felt a little guilty for your mother, you had to admit even if she was worthless for you.

  
Then, Dice’s heart has softened hearing your comment because you were too naïve and he said, "It could be true, dear, but this world still turns around money, ya know!" his tone appeared so paternal and soft that you almost melted and you felt a little stupid. You realized you did not know a thing about this world and how could you win this game without not even know who you were or in what you believed.  
"Cut to the chase, darling. We’ve job to do and ya have to make your move!" he said smirking at you with his usual lascivious smile but you had to admit you got used to it. The entire crowd was staring at you but you did not care and you kept your cold behaviour. It seemed the time was frozen for you, and you had to start and push your luck –if it was present in you and you doubted very much-.

  
You had to launch your dice, hoping for some good result but you were still inexperienced in this game or in life in general. You did not know the sense of it and you supposed you were destined to lose.  
After a reflection, maybe you just wanted to lose time waiting for something or some help from God or some other divinity who could hear your prayer but nothing happened and everyone was still waiting for your move. Therefore, after you placed your bet, it’s your come out and you throw the dice. Your mind was so concentrated and immobilized that you saw the time moving in slow motion and your sight became foggy, it was like you were in another dimension or in another universe. While the dice rolled on the table all the crowd was screaming; the ones who bet on you and the ones who wanted to see you lose but maybe these lasts would have been dissatisfied. It seemed Lady Luck smiled at you this time and you did not even realize since your mind was still wandering in the land of confusion.  
"Look at that, you got 11!" the crowd applauded you and you did not even realize you won this first part and you have been lucky. With you, all the persons that have bet on the pass line have won with you while the others have lost their money but for now since it was the first round and nobody could say if you would have been lucky a second time.

  
You were just too incredulous to comment and even Dice was smiling at you but his grin was different, it was less malevolent and he was curious. He was sure yours was all some beginner’s luck and he has not forgotten the new rules about the game. Since you have won, you had to tell a secret. Maybe you forgot this little detail.  
"Is it ok…? " you asked with a calm and innocent tone of voice that he found adorable and he was almost sorry for you, that you had to confess your intimacies to this audience of monsters but a bet was still a bet. There was no coming back. He smiled at you with a malicious tenderness and you got worried.  
"Yes, it’s good. Maybe you are luckier than you thought, but we’re lucky, too" and then you remembered the new clauses of the game and you started freaking out.

  
If you did not lose your money or your soul, you had to lose your dignity, at least. You would not get out from this place safe and sound and without any scars because you knew the inner scars were the most painful and terrifying than any other visible wounds.  
"Pretend we’re your friends, darling. Here none of us wants to harm you, we’re playing for fun, it’s all a game, just trust in me. Nobody is going to hurt you. " you lost yourself staring at his green pupils and his soft and alluring voice was bringing you to Paradise and it gave you peace and serenity, you could tell to this man all your secrets. King was hypnotic like a sin and a temptation.

  
"Uhm… What should I say?" you asked trying to find yourself but it was so difficult and you did not want to recall your awful memories about your mother.  
"Everything, darling. Everything…" the more you looked into his eyes and the more you desired to confide to him all your darkest thoughts and you felt trapped. You ran away from a cage to find yourself in another cage and it was not luck but only a miserable wicked game between you and him.


	3. Free Doom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m so glad people have appreciated my story, this fills my heart with joy and satisfaction. Thank you all!  
> I hope that this chapter will be worthy like the last two and you will have fun reading it.  
> I have to admit, I have some clear points about this story and some others that are not so clear but I will work on it!  
> Anyway, every one of you can suggest some plots that I can follow and every idea is accepted, it can help my inspiration.  
> I thank all the persons who left a comment to the last chapters c:

That day, when your mother committed that act of blasphemy, you have reached an awareness, so cruel and real. Everything happened so fast that it took time before your brain could realize something so terrible occurred. All the lessons that your mother gave you were lies. Mere lies. There was no salvation, no hope and no purity in this world.   
Despite you have been just an unfortunate spectator of that show of depravity, you felt dirty and impure as if you participated to that strange ritual where your mother touched herself with lust and passion, invoking God’s name, as if He was her lover and maybe He was.

  
In your mind of a child, this scene appeared so real and limpid and you were unable to discern what was true from what was false. When you were a child, you firmly believed in God and you considered Him like your true father since your biological father ran away with another woman after he found out your mother’s craziness. You did not blame your biological father and, from that episode, the desire to escape from this prison made of pain started growing stronger day by day.

  
You kept your eyes open, in front of you the darkness of your bedroom and you were unable to sleep. The darkness that surrounded the room was the same of your mind but the one in your mind was scarier. The same scene was projected and the same sound passed through your ears despite the silence. In your brain, the verses of your mother’s ecstasy kept echoing.   
That filthy feeling did not leave you and not only your body felt dirty but your soul, too. Deprived of your innocence without you even realized, you have been private of something important. A candour that every child must have possessed and you lost it because of your mother and her lust. Her sins were yours and you just wanted to forget.  
Shower after shower, you begun washing yourself furiously to clean your body and mind from that awful feeling. You were not literally dirty because your soul was the one to be damaged and it would have never healed. Everything you believed was a lie. Your God and your faith were faint echoes that were vanishing, as your mind understood the truth.

  
Looking your mother in the eyes was impossible for you and you just stared the ground while she talked to you.  
"Have you lost your voice?" said your mother while she was serving your breakfast the day after that episode and you just answered, "Nothing… I’m just tired…".  
She had a strange tone of voice, you have never seen her so mortified and guilt but you knew the reason of her altered state.   
"Me too… I’ll be out for a while. I have to see the priest…" coldness in her voice was never missed and you supposed she just wanted to confess her sins against God to the priest. That was what every Christian did but it was always the Devil’s fault like people had no sense of responsibility. You found this behaviour so illogical and hypocrite but you kept your thought for yourself.

  
Explaining a sin like this would have not been easy for your mother since it was something blasphemous. She reduced God to a mere fetish of her depravity. What kind of forgiveness she searched for after she did this action?    
You did not eat so much and you stayed alone with your confusion and insecurities.   
When your mother came, she did not seem so glad and relieved and maybe the priest has not been so gentle with her, and her face was as red as the colour of her sin and you knew the reason.

  
"I don’t want to be disturbed for the rest of the night, is it clear?" you just nodded without saying a thing and your mother was glad you had always so less to say.  
"I have to recite some prayers by the will of the priest but these are not your business…" the shame of her actions coloured her eyes and maybe you should have been silenced even this time, instead of…  
"Oh… The same prayers of the last time?" and the earth stopped turning around, and you, from that day, learnt to think twice before saying something wrong and your mother’s face became redder. This time the red did not represent her sin but her rage because you did something you should not have done!  
"What do you mean?" and she did not stop to look at you with those malevolent eyes that made you shiver and you stood up ready to run away to your room until she grabbed you by the hair with violence.  
"No, repeat what you said! " her grip was strong and you tried so hard to free yourself but it was impossible, "What did you see, little crap?", and you just screamed perceiving your eyes that were getting wetter.   
"Anything, I swear!" your moves were chaotic and you lost your balance, "Leave me, please! ".  
She did not care, she dragged you by the hair reaching your room, and you knew what was waiting for you.  
"Don’t swear, and tell me! What did you see? Are you lying to me?" she launched you against the floor and she took off her belt. You screamed, praying her to stop but this made her madder. Your tears fell down, wetting the floor and even your sight became darker and your mother was nothing but a silhouette.

  
She raised up her hand, hurling her belt ready to hit you and she hit you without mercy. After what you did, it was the right punishment and maybe it was not enough, for her.  
Your brain recorded the pain at full speed and even your yell died, covered by the sound of her belt that touched violently your skin leaving horrid bruises.   
"You dirty sinner must pay!" you were unable to hear her words since the pains were too hard to be tolerated and then another whipping that hit your back and you were laying on the floor like a cadaver. It was possible to notice some little moves from you, because you were not total paralyzed and you were shivering like a leaf, begging her to forgive you but your words came out like crying, weak tremors. She hit you again, kicking your trembling body. Her rage against herself was been projecting to you, because she knew she was wrong. She was the sinner but she could not accept it, so she had to vent her frustration to her child like the monster she was.

  
The rest of the pains, you missed them because you fainted after some minutes of torture but those scars drawn on your skin would have made you remember. Especially the scars of your mind, they would have never healed. 

***

 

Even this time, you came back into reality and you did not find it so pleasant and fair.  
You were asking yourself what was worse: your memories or the game you were playing. Both of them were too horrific and you were just a lost soul who wanted to find a place in this world of mystery and solitude. Maybe this place did not exist but you have not even had the possibility to try and you were fighting like a fly in a glass, unable to escape from its prison. 

  
Last match was lucky for you and you were still on the track but maybe this voluble and inexperienced luck was not going to last and every minute that passed you were surer that coming here was not a good idea and you lost your mind. You acted like a naïve baby and you thought you had nothing to lose. Only now, you have realized that your soul was something and losing it meant losing yourself. Your existence and all you were was going to become dust, some memories lost in the wind like leaves that flew in the air, so delicate and light, they were going to fell on the cold cemented ground.   
Your eyes still stared at the void and a macabre silence took possession of this demoniac place but the only place that was shushed was your head because the crowd was still applauding you but you were unable to hear as if you were become deaf suddenly. 

  
As the time before, his voice brought your thoughts to the ground and your eyes went wide open while a grin appeared on his face.  
"Our Sleeping beauty woke up from their sleep, are you fine, darling? You are so unfocused. " asked Dice with his charming voice and you did not know what to say so you just nodded, whispering, "I’m fine…I guess… ", you were not so sure about your answer and he decided to help you with a little pep talk –but you could imagine his words were just a bluff and he did not care about your state of mind-.  
"Oh, dear, I said you don’t have to worry because we’re all your spectators here. You’re doing great, trust me!" and Dice smiled, lasciviously. His eyes captured you even if you knew the truth. Everyone here were liars and you were surrounded by predators. You were just a mere sacrifice to Gods that were too hungry and merciless to care about a human like you. Like a beast on the altar, you were waiting for your death. The blade that would have stabbed your poor heart. You could observe the Death through his eyes. He was your death, and you were sure about it.

  
"Confess your feelings to us, don’t be ashamed! There’s no reason to be. We’re all sinners here, so we won’t judge you like _them_. We won’t hurt you like  _they did_. We’re more similar than you think, my darling." he said with that gentle voice you found so alluring but so menacing at the same time.  
Sometimes you lost yourself in your world, and Dice noticed it and he was more curious to learn all your hidden secretes. You were so scared, he was able to perceive your fears and he felt excited about it. Good things came to those who waited and he did not know if he had still the patience to wait for your little mouth to open. You were not going to leave this place, dead or alive, so it was better if you cleaned your mind from those toxic thoughts soon. 

  
There was no escape so you, after having taken a deep breath, decided to speak because you had no choice and there were worse sinners here than you. Your actions were not so degrading and you considered yourself still an honest and good person who has never hurt a fly.  
"It’s true…I’ve stolen my mother’s money on purpose and I don’t think I would even give them back to her. " you did not look him in the eyes and you were gazing on the table while the crowd groaning for the disbelief. King was not so surprised and nobody in this world was perfect but you did not seem a thief.   
"Good children don’t steal from their mother’s wallets. I suppose, you already know the consequences of your action." his smile became wicked and maybe you and him were going to meet again someday when your soul would burn in the Underworld.

  
"I don’t care. I’ll assume I’ll meet my mother again in Hell, if it’s fate… " you were acquiring a sort of determination from your pain and despair. Maybe it was your apathy that spoke or a fake courage. You have always showed respect to your mother despite her perfidy because you were afraid of her punishments. She was your worst nightmare but you were feeling a sort of comfort thinking how she would have suffered after her death and God would have never welcomed her in Heaven, you were sure about it and this thought made you feel a sensation of bliss. Something new you have never perceived before and you did not understand. Someone would call that sensation  _sadism_ , simply.   You were just wishing the worst to your mother without a care and you were realizing that maybe there was no difference between these monsters and you. That little Yin, the black dot in your soul, seemed coming back to life, slowly. Dice found your behaviour so hilarious and tender. He kept thinking you were not born to burn but he could not show mercy to you, this game was not over yet.

  
"Oh, poor little sweetheart. Your soul will never find its peace, I’m deeply sorry for you." said Dice pretending to be concerned about your situation, your soul would have been safe. In his hands.   
"It has never found its peace, actually… " you said. Some persons were just designed to suffer from the day of their born and the wheels have never turned for you.   
You have already suffered your personal Hell on earth, you were going to burn in the fires of eternal damnation even after your death, and it was so unfair.  How many times did you have to pay for your unexpressed sins? Actions you have never committed.  
"Bad things always happen to precious souls like you, it’s dreadful, I know well but you’re here to demonstrate to be worthy. There are no sinners or saints, let us be honest, but only persons who make mistakes." that paternal tone of his voice came back, and the determination that was present in you melted away, leaving you in confusion. For the first time, Dice seemed honest but it could be another trick. Finding yourself to stare in his eyes, you forgot the surrounding and all the spectator monsters. Your mind was concentrated to his words that appeared so true but you were not so sure if you could demonstrate to be worthy of something. 

  
With discomfort in your eyes, you confessed, "Maybe she was right…" your voice was a whisper, and you started thinking that your mother had a point and you deserved all the pain you went through.   
"I just wanted to find my way… " your voice was so low that none was able to hear you except for Dice that did not lose any words that came out from your mouth. This huge room seemed empty and only you and King were here but it was just an illusion.  
Somehow, you felt comfortable speaking about your inner worries with him, staring at his deep and warm green eyes. Even if it was a hypnosis, it did not matter. His sight relaxed you so much.

  
This moment was like a confession and –ironically- he was as the priest who was hearing to your preoccupations. This comparison was absurd, illogical and paradoxical but the feelings you felt were the same. You remembered when you were younger and you were used to frequent the Church more often, you always spoke with the preacher and then you felt born again, in some way. Maybe it was just a stupidity but you did not have anybody to talk with or any friend that could hear your fears so you took that opportunity as a chance to vent. 

  
"Oh, it’s nice you are opening up to me, dear. It’s not my intention to be rude, but I have to invite you to do your next move, when you’re ready." you and him had all the eternity to converse, he thought, when you would have lost your soul. You woke up from your daydream, hearing the screaming crowd. They were so impatience to see your new launch. To see you fall once for all.  
The time of betting was finally came and you had to wish to be luck like the last time, but nobody would say. It was a game of probability and all what you could do was hoping.  
Unexpectedly, the mass of monsters kept quiet and everyone was concentrated at your launch as if you were the star of the show or the poor witch that was burning at the stake. 

  
The anxiety came back and that sensation you had before, when you were having that little conversation with Dice who told you those wise words that, even if they were fake, filled your heart with serenity and calm and you found your peace of mind for one moment but now you lost all of this. You felt so nervous and helpless.   
These negative thoughts would not bring you luck and it was not useful so maybe you just had to forget about your life and yourself. Forget about everything and everyone, clean your mind and just launch your dice without caring about the consequences, no matter what would happen.

   
The rules were simple, you needed to get the same number of before, an eleven, and not a seven or you were going to lose or, if you got a different number, there would have been no effect and you had to throw your dice again until you got your number but it was not so simple.  
You just hoped this moment would be quick and painless, at least. With your sweaty hands, you were just too nervous, you grabbed the dice trying to free your mind from all those negative thoughts and then you launched them. Just like before, it seemed the time was frozen and it was anything but quick and painless.

This time, Lady Luck has not been so clement but not even so evil because you did not lose yet, but you did not win neither and your score was neutral.  
"Oh, someone’s loosing luck, here. I’m so sorry, darling… However, you have another chance!" it was obvious that your luck was the beginner’s luck as Dice supposed from the very start. He donated to you a smile of encouragement.    
Then, an idea crossed your mind and you found the determination of before as if it was a sort of miracle. This was a waiting moment and fate gave you another possibility to stay alive and win so, since you were playing this game, you had to respect the rules but maybe you could suggest your own rules and even Dice noticed the singular glow in your eyes and he was not the only one to be curious.  
"You are the one now that should confess to me something since I almost lost…" your voice was still insecure and you gathered all your courage to say it since his glance still intimidated you.  
"I’m delighted you’ve really entered into the spirit so what do you want to know?" you did not expect this reaction from him. He showed himself so disposable and polite that you were truly thinking that maybe… No, it was a total farce and he was just a great actor but you could ask him some question.  
"Why do you want my soul? It’s nonsense and very unfair, I don’t understand! What have I done wrong?" you did not still think you deserved to burn in Hell or being punished like this.

  
Dice’s expression mutated even this time, his smile was a mix of malice and cruelty, and he was staring at you the same way a predator observed its prey.   
With his usual attractive but, at the same time, so warm and tender tone of voice, he spoke, "That’s an interesting question. You didn’t do anything wrong, sweetheart. The eyes you are showing me are so livid. Don’t be so rancorous at me. It’s just my job and I’m very professional. " he took a breath, observing you for some seconds that seemed hours to you.   
Then, he continued saying, " I’ll be honest with you. Your soul is so pure and distressed and it’s that sufferance, your desperation, that makes it so precious. There’s more than this…" he smiled at you, wickedly, and you found yourself staring inside his green irises, completely powerless. " It’s my little sin, an unsaid desire, to corrupt young and clean souls like yours. _Corrupt_ is not the proper expression because it’s more a liberation. You’ll be free from your cage of agony. Don’t you hear your soul shouting?". His words were so irrational but so accurate that you found yourself unable to answer.  
"Your little soul won’t remain so pristine for so long. I’ve already noticed how its shade is mutated and you are hiding your true nature. A nature you’re unaware to possess".

You were as a little bird without wings because your mother cut them off and you lost your natural talent to fly and the freedom of being your true self. What Dice was offering you now was freedom.

  
"Your true self has been castrated by those obscene religious dogmas and belief." he shook his head, sighing. «I saw a gleam in your pretty eyes, the flares of that sparkle were low and grey. It was a desire. No, your eyes don’t lie! », all your senses were blocked and the only emotion you could feel was fear. Fear mixed with curiosity and you did not have the courage to interrupt him.  
"You want to break those chains, don’t you?" and you just nodded, completely immobilized and inert, and Dice smiled at you because he got you.   
"I long for it more than anything else…" your voice was so unemotional and apathetic, but those words were true and it was your real desire. What your soul yearned from all these years. The reason you were here. 

  
"Oh, darling. I may say, Luck brought you here, you don’t have to resist to your desires and you don’t have to lie to yourself anymore. Because…" you just swallowed your saliva while you were listening to his words. Like if it was a sermon, something so sacral and divine to deny, and you could not miss a single phrase of his discourse.   
_"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it_ , as a famous poet said." it was an Oscar Wilde quote that fitted so well with your situation because you were just supressing yourself and it was not good for your health or your soul. It was just living in  _the luxury of a regret_. 

  
"Your poor soul is getting sick, prisoned by all those moral rules, and it’s such a shame, my dear." thinking about his words that were so true and painful, your mother appeared in your mind and you remembered how she lived in the damnation and in the suppression of her natural instincts. If you had kept on repressing yourself, you would have become just like her: a frustrated woman who had to lie to God, hiding her sins behind a fake guilt, to feel free but even her freedom was another lie because the cage where she lived was made of hypocrisy and divine punishments. Your wish was not to become like her, like a horrible monster, you could not permit that. 

  
Everything seemed so clear now and your mind was cleaned by all those worries, or almost because this game was not over yet and there was another round to play.  
The dice man just smirked, seeing how the gleam in your eyes got brighter and his job would have been accomplished soon and maybe, even if you had won this game, you would have consigned your soul to him of your own free will. You have already realized how your life was a lie and that you were so sick and tired of all the abuses you suffered and there was no other way than succumb to the temptation.

  
"We can continue our discussion later. The break time is done, darling." declared Dice and you felt confuse. The same sensation of being re-emerged from the abyss but it was an illumination and not an awful memory. You were illuminated and you nodded at him so scared but so impatient, too. Were you impatient to lose your soul?   
"Why don’t we risk it all at the next round? " and you knew what he meant with _all_ , your soul and he had no time to waste. Time was money, and you had a lot to pay. A lot to risk.   
You nodded at his proposal, without thinking twice, and you were ready to lose it all, your mind, your body and your soul. Maybe this was the true  _freedom_ you were searching for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From this chapter, you can understand that the nature of the reader is changing and they will mutate themselves drastically as the chapters pass. They are becoming aware of themselves a little more. Yes, this is one of those ideas I have in mind. Knowing myself, I could add some horror and more blasphemous elements and it’s quite funny I’m wrting and thinking about this stuff during the Christmas Holiday.  
> I thank you again for the reading and you are free to leave comments.  
> See you soon-!
> 
> Bye~


	4. New Path

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First, I want to thank all the people who commented last time, thank you, guys!  
> I took time for this chapter but I hope you will like it.  
> Good Reading!

It was a cold November afternoon and a group of lazy, grey clouds covered the sky that was as black as petroleum. Trying to keep warm in your coat, you observed the other little clouds that came out from your mouth as you breathed the cold air. Even your lungs were frozen but, this was not a valid reason to complain. The weather was still the weather, it could not be changed, and it was the same temperature of your heart. You felt comfortable surrounded by the cold.

Months passed since the mortal sin of your mother and, from that day, you have never discovered her committing the same action again. Your mind was overshadowed by awful visions of your mother, accusing you of her own sins, while she was ruining your skin hitting you with her belt and hands. As if you were a beast and not a human being or creature of God, because God would have never permitted something like this. Maybe it was another lie and even the Supreme was laughing at your misery.

She said, you were the reason why she did it, you were an unworthy child, and because of this, this did not make you innocent. You had assisted in her depravity, you were a spectator and this has made you a sinner just like her. Your lies were only the beginning of a life filled with perversion and immoralities, your mother kept saying this because she wanted you to feel as guilty as her despite this you did not possess a fault.

You smelled the fragrance of rain in the air, it was pleasant and relaxing. You liked this scent, and you hoped it would rain; you wanted to feel your face caressed by the raindrops, as if those little drops of water were gentle kisses from the sky. A cold embrace.

Another reason was because, you were tired and wanted to go back home, not being here with your mother to walk from house to house to convince people to convert themselves in the true faith, their soul was damned and they had only one possibility to save themselves by follow the light path of redemption. The path God chose for them. You spent every Sunday with her, after the Holy Mass, and to wander through the city. Searching for some lost sheep but you did not think it was useful to invade people’s privacy and waste their time hearing the same old stories they already knew. If they truly wanted to follow this path they would have already chosen it.

The words that your mother were saying did not reach your ears, you just nodded with a blank expression, observing the edge of the street in front of you it that seemed to not have an end. A drop fell on your nose, and you raised up your head seeing the clouds become darker. Before the rain started falling, your mother already knocked on the door of the person who was going to listen to her sermon that you already heard a million times. She did not care about the weather and she would have persevered through her mission, even in a storm. Somehow, you estimated her determination even if she was determined in the wrong way but, despite her evident errors, she kept fighting for her values and believing in her duty. It was absurd how a person could lose oneself in these illusions of eternity and in these splendid lies. Your philosophy of life was changing and you were waking up slowly from your sleep. Maybe, all her slaps and punishments helped you to conquer a new awareness of reality.

At first, no one answered to her knocking but she did not give up so she knocked again with more fervour until the door finally opened. It revealed a robust and rude man who did not welcome your mother with a kind and friendly greeting. She was used to this hostility since people were stubborn, but she was more stubborn than them and they were going to listen to her words whether they wanted or not.

This man appeared neglected, your nostrils were invaded by a horrid smell of alcohol, that resided from his mouth, and his expression did not hide the lust and perversion since his eyes were burning like two fires.

Your mother did not care about his appearance; in fact, she seemed satisfied because he was the kind of lost sheep she was looking for. She came to believe that those whose soul was lost for sure could be noticed by the way they looked, their sins were not hidden under a mask of falsity since their exterior represented their interior.

“So how can I help you?” the man barked with a voice full of irritation, he pretended to be polite it was blatantly obvious .

“We’re representatives of the Church. We’re here to spread the word of our Saviour, Jesus Christ.” your mother talked with solemnity and pride, the man just nodded, inviting the two of you to come inside. You were sure he did not care about the Word of God so you were getting worried, this person seemed very unstable and strange but your mother appeared so inflexible in her decisions that you did not know whom you should have feared more between her and this weird individual.

The house the man lived in was as sloppy and dishevelled as himself, you would have noticed the dust imprinted on the pavement. Nevermind, it was a cockroach. After seeing this you felt so disgusted that you refused to sit down on his couch until your mother screamed to do so. You followed her orders while the man kept watching you with the strange pair of eyes he had. Then, he lit up a cigarette testing your mother’s wrath.

“Could I ask you to put out your cigarette, please?” said your mother with severity.

“Why should I?” he did not seem interested in her request and blew a cloud of smoke in her direction.

“I don’t think it’s so adequate to smoke in the presence of a child.” she was talking about you, as if she truly cared about your health and, as if this man had the gift of omniscience, he laughed because by one look he understood what kind of hypocrite your mother was.

“Oh, inadequate? In the same way it’s inadequate seeing a child who preaches the word of God.” his voice was not harsh as he looked at you with an expression of pity. Your mother felt offended by his affirmation and she did not consider herself a bad mother and not even as a bad human being.

“How I decided to educate my kid is none of your business, sir.” her voice still tough as a rock.

“Yes, even if I think it’s a waste…” for an instant, you noticed a vicious gleam in his eyes and as his true nature manifested itself you remained confused. A few seconds ago it seemed this man wanted to help you, expressing his disappointment over your mother’s choices. No one could know what he meant with “waste”, and your mother kept ignoring the fact that you felt uncomfortable here.

“Anyway, we’re not talking about them. I may guess that you, most of all, need our help to find a place in this world away from sin and temptation.” from her bag, she extracted a brochure that contained information about her beliefs, but the man just yawned and scratched his belly. Your mother gasped at the sight of this.

“You don’t care about living such a miserable life without faith or God.” she was shocked but the words that the man was going to say made her more shocked.

“I’m atheist, so I don’t believe in this bullshit. I only believe in facts and myself.” your mother made the sign of the cross while you kept your boiling laughter at bay. It was hilarious in its own way. For your mother, these were the worst sinners, they refused the existence of God.

“Why did you welcome us in your house if you don’t even believe?” your mother was being to feel like she was wasting her time with this horrid individual.

“Because it would’ve been rude to kick you out, I’m an open-minded person, after all. I listen to other point of views, at the contrary of certain Christians.” you could recognize a sort of cynicism in his voice.

“Oh, Lord. Saucy words, maybe you still have time to be redeemed for your sins.” she said, leaving some brochures on his table. This situation became very strange and not even you knew what to think about it.

“I don’t search for any redemption, I may be a sinner but I’m still free. Freer than you, Madame.

I made many mistakes in my life and lots of people have suffered because of my egoism and bad attitudes, they should be the ones who have to forgive me and not God. I took the responsibilities of my errors, and we reap what we sow, it’s true.” his eyes acquired a shade of melancholy and appeared mortified while he thought about his past. At least, he could say he was free to make mistakes but, at the same time, to learn from them because life was only one and it was too short to hold a grudge.

After a pause he continued, “None of us have the right to decide another person’s life and it doesn’t matter if you’re their parents. I’m not perfect but even a discarded member of society like me can understand it’s wrong”.

Then, the man looked into your eyes like he was scrutinizing your soul, and you felt naked under his enigmatic sight, but there was no malice or hostility in his stare, only a sharp ting of sadness. Taking you unprepared, he asked, “Is this what you truly want, little one? You shouldn’t allow to your mother to control your mind, nobody should.” he thought that children should be free to play and have fun with other kids. Not follow the little twisted fetishes of a crazy mother. It was unfair, you knew he was right, it was not only affecting your physical health but your mental health also. If you kept following this path she chose for you it wouldn’t end well.

A silence encircled the room and your mind was frozen as if an avalanche fell over everyone, a sentiment of desolation took possession of your heart and you began to tear up. The truth was always hard to bear. This was the harshest thing you had heard in a long time. The cruel, ugly, and disgusting truth of your life, but oddly enough you were well aware of it. Maybe you were just pretending not to be conscious of it since there was no way you could have changed your situation.

Outraged, your mother stood up from her seat, taking your hand with a fury that made you jolt, running away from the habitat of this odd but sincere sinner who did not do anything wrong but saying the truth. Despite what he appeared to be, a dangerous and creepy person, maybe he was only sad. Maybe this world made him this cold hearted and frustrated. You judged him too early and, after hearing his words, you were going to leave your mother and her awful house too search for another life, a brighter future, for yourself.

At least, that man was honest with himself unlike your mother who wore masks. This made her appeared to be didgent and respectable woman but, under her humble appearance, she hid a ruthless monster that she was not rid of. She was the one who had to be pitied. From that meeting you learned many things and started seeing the world in a different light. There was something else other than this misery. You were determined to discover what was hidden under the veil of lies, where your mother stored you.

 

* * *

 

The current in your brain began to circulate and you came back to reality.

You were lost in your thoughts often. They were awful thoughts of ancient times and the experience you had seemed unlike your own, because of this you made a point to remember your memories. These dreams where nightmarish and not very enjoyable. But you were determined to keep them. As time passed, you were losing any trace of sanity you had. You couldn’t even recall the time because you lost the count of minutes or hours you found yourself in another dream like dimension in space.

The monsters around you were sneering and laughing at, you being their favourite form of entertainment. This made you felt dead, unworthy, sick and, those monsters were not the only creatures who were observing you. There was another man who was studying you and, you had almost forgotten about him, since he remained silent until now. As if he did not want to disturb your train of thoughts. Maybe he was able to read your mind, but there was no way you could know.

“Good morning, sleepyhead!” said a cheerful voice, and then you remembered everything; you blushed because of the rush of embarrassment but Dice did not seem angry and he found it amusing in your distracting ways. At his words, you gasped, unable to speak, you just nodded, and sighed.

“It seems you didn’t sleep very well last night, if you kept daydreaming and losing your little mind so often.” Dice spoke again and being concentrated on him made you forget about your mother. The thought of her was killing you inside. King was right, you were very tired and because of the nightmares you did not sleep that night.

“My mind is tricking me… the nightmares torment me even when I’m awake…” you were unsure if you were talking aloud or if you were thinking. To distinguish dreams and reality was very difficult at this point. Dreams or reality, both of them were surely dreadful.

“You can rest when this game will be over, darling. Don’t be afraid, I will offer you a place to sleep if you desire.” he would be happy to sing you a lullaby or assist you in sleep, but he did not mention the possibilities since he was still professional but, he did wink at you. From this gesture, you could understand the rest of his thoughts. His flirting confused you so much that you could admit it was pleasant, and actually, it did not make you feel uncomfortable. You were able to find your lost sanity and your brain was taking possession of its faculties again.

“Uhm… It seems I’m unable to control my mind and it’s painful…” all the monsters in the room started screaming and insulting you because to them you seemed pathetic. They wanted to see you burn with the Ignavi*, the half-hearted souls who never chose on whose side they were on (according to Dante mythology). They detested dull people because they were not good but not bad either. They just lived their life without an aim, following the flow. They were just useless people no one would cry for, since their existences were a big question mark.

Turning around, infernal glances looked at you and you covered your ears, closed your eyes, because of the horrific looks. You were not like this. You did not consider yourself like an Ignavo. Yes, you were unaware of many things and you did not know yourself very well but you wanted to live, you desired to discover something new and fight for it. You could not cry or hear their voices anymore. Slowly, the voices were becoming similar to your mother’s, it was another trick of your mind, another hallucination. Those were the same words your mother kept saying when she saw you sad and you could not permit her to win. You could not have your ghosts defeat you.

“Oh, poor little darling. I promise, you’ll never feel gloomy anymore and with time you’re going to forget all your sore reminiscences. You’re so tormented, it’s unfair.” your visions stopped the moment Dice spoke, his voice was filled with comfort and kindness. You should have just focused on his words. Only his words.

“It’s logical… If I’d die, I’d lose my memory and everything I am will disappear into the oblivion.” you answered with legit scepticism.

“Oh, I didn’t mean that, it won’t be a death but a new rebirth.” Dice said with his usual confident tone.

“It’s just nonsense!” you answered with a trembling voice.

“No, dear, donating your soul to the Devil, you’ll be truly free. Free to be whoever you want, without any worries and even those memories will not torment you anymore. Only faded echoes will remain of them.” he silenced himself for a little while, staring you in the eyes with his alluring smile, before speaking again, “That’s what you desire, isn’t it? Stop to feel sorry for yourself, and rejoice at your new beginning!” the confidence in his voice was incomparable and he was already sure you were going to lose your soul. Even you were unsure about your true fate since his discourse seemed very convincible. Maybe he was right, you only had to surrender in front of the fact that the only way to find your freedom was to give up your soul. Enjoying the place where there were no hypocrites or shame, you would have followed your instincts. You had carried yourself to the lowest level possible without any care. Maybe it was all a trap because Hell was still Hell, and Dice was talking about it with way to much positivity. He was talking about it like it was the most marvellous place of the world.

The break was over. Yet the game kept going, and your dice had to be launch for the last time, since this was the decisive match. The one where you would lose your soul or where you would keep it. The crowd went wild and you called back all your not so high hopes.

“I’m surprised you’ve come so far, congratulations. Whatever will happen, it’s been nice to meeting you. We’ve had fun together. I wish you luck, sweetheart!” even this time, he demonstrated gentleness and his words almost touched you. Your gestures appeared hesitant and unsure that, when you were preparing your launch, new memories crossed your mind and you found yourself catapulted in those realm of nightmares. You did not notice the dice that rolled in front of you, since everything was spinning around you instantly blacked out.

 

* * *

 

It was another Sunday, one of those Sundays where you and your mother searched for some lost lamb to convert, because it was never enough (for her, at least, you were sick and tired of this stupid practice).

This time a pale sun was shining and you were lost in your thoughts as always. While your mother was ranting about her usual sermons and predictions your ears automatically closed themselves so you wouldn’t have to listen to her rant. Then your eyes were caught by a group of women who were on the roadside.

“Why are you not paying attention to me?” your mother squeaked. When she met your eyes she looked in the same direction, finding the women and she gasped, realizing what kind of women they were. She said with a disgusted tone, “Oh, Lord! Look at them, they’re lost sheep who cannot be saved anymore. Repugnant! They sell their body, the gift Jesus gave to them, to make money! They’re dirty devils, don’t look at them and pick up your pace!” your mother ordered you while she looked at those prostitutes with contempt, despite this she did not know them. They were just laughing and talking to one another and you saw no harm in their actions, let alone sin.

Focusing your gaze, you recognized one of the women. She flashed you a smile when your eyes met. You remembered that woman, because you have seen her before when you had to do some errands for your mother in the market. Even in that situation, she smiled at you and her smile was the most enchanting thing you have ever seen. She was selling flowers and not her body, so you could not label her as a sinner. That day, you felt very sad and alone so you decided to go for a walk. You walked with your head down until she approached you, donating a fresh flower for you. It was a pink rose, beautiful and scented, you did not understand why that girl was giving you a rose but this was the very first act of kindness you have received in your life. Then, she walked away, giving you a fleeting smile. Clearly, her intent was to make you smile, and she did not ask anything in return. This was a real act of generosity.

“Hello! I told you to stop to staring at those diabolical women, they’re worthless, trash!” your mother took your hand, yanking you. You did not agree that those women were diabolical. It was just another false hood that came out of your mother’s mouth.

Despite prostitution, her heart was generous and pure, she would not burn in Hell for this. It was unfair and you refused to believe in this atrocity. Your eyes were filling with tears as you saw the women disappear beyond the asphalted horizon.

As the famous French poet Léon Bloy said, “ _A saint can fall in the mud, but a prostitute can climb to the light_ ”. Once the priest of your Church said this phrase explaining how everyone could sin and give in to temptation but, with the same possibility, even the worst sinners could find the light of God if they truly believed. In that particular situation, your mother did not pay the proper attention but you were still sure that her soul would have burnt in the flames of Hell.

You have never encountered that woman again and you hoped she was fine and found her way in this complicated and horrid world. That she has been luckier than you, since it seemed nothing has changed and you were still here, screaming and moving in your sleep. Until you woke up and, this time, reality showed in all its tragic chaos.

 

* * *

 

Nobody could tell how much time passed since you lost your senses in front of everyone.

Your last memory was confused and far away, your head hurt and you had no clue where you were now. In your sleep, you kept moving yourself. Sighing you woke up and opened your eyes revealing a luminous chandelier that blinded you. Then you realized that you were not in the casino but somewhere else, in a mysterious room. You were lying on an enormous bed that was not yours. As you took back your consciousness , your thoughts became lucid again and you remembered reality. A moment ago, could also be an eternity, you were playing a game that would decide your soul’s fate. But you felt normal, a little tired but you could say your soul was still in its place, inside you.

You did not remember the result of the game, if you won or if you lost, since you fainted the exact moment before the dice stopped rolling. It was the last thing you saw and then the oblivion of your nightmares captured you in their abominable grip. You were glad you woke up since you were truly shocked and this situation was driving you mad.

Your bones and muscles ached every time you moved, and your forehead was wet as you sweated in your sleep. Like if this was the first day of school, you did not want to stand up, because it was painful and you needed to sleep in more. Actually, you wanted to sleep without any worries, a dreamless sleep.

Like the time before, a warm voice welcomed you, “Rise and shine, darling.” you recognized that voice, because it was stamped in your mind. It was his voice and you gasped, jumping as if you saw a terrible monster. Then, you surely did not feel like the sun ready to rise and shine, you felt just like a meteor that was going to crash on the ground. As you were hoping out of bed, he chuckled and you felt more embarrassed than before.

Yes, you were in a luxurious chamber that was covered in gold and shining objects. You had never seen something like this before, since your home was humble and modest. For a moment, you thought you were in another dream, until he spoke again, “Are you alright, dear?” said Dice, chuckling again, you did not know how to answer because you were so perplexed by his voice.

“What’s happened? Where am I?” so many questions exploded in your mind and maybe these were not enough to resolve your doubts.

Dice was seated on an armchair, with his legs crossed, observing you with his usual inquiring face, and then he said, “You passed out in the middle of the match”. He did not seem very shocked about it, maybe he expected it from you since you seemed a very problematic person with some issues with fainting. He continued speaking, “We’re currently in the break-room of the casino, I couldn’t leave you outside, rotting on the floor, it wouldn’t be so decorous.” his voice was quite cynical as if he helped you to keep his well mannered imagine. And not because he was preoccupied with your situation. Not that you wanted to be devoured by all those monsters.

“Oh, well…” you massaged your head, thinking about his words and that you were still in the casino still alive, too. You supposed he kept you alive only for your soul… Yes, your soul. What was going to happen with it? Were you going to lose it? Your eyes widened as you tried to express yourself, “What happened while I was sleeping?” it seemed that Dice wanted to keep this secret for himself. He smirked, placing his hand under his chin. His gaze was so curious.

“Oh, dear, I’m very impressed and you couldn’t believe…” he left you hanging on but his smile never left his face, “On one side, I’m really sorry but, other the other side, I feel honoured to have known a lucky person like you.” in that moment you gasped because maybe your odds were wrong and maybe…

“Have I won…?” you asked with an insecure voice. It was incredible, how could it be true? You fainted before the end of the game, in the maximum status of suspense, you were unaware of everything.

“Exactly, dear, I said I’m impressed, it’s unbelievable!” he did not lose his confidence, not even for a moment and his smile kept shining. Your soul was safe despite this you could not help but feel unhappy about it and you did not know why but Dice was about to make you remember the reasons of your sorrow.

“You are free to do what you want of your life now… you are free to go back to your comfortable and lovely home.” as his eyes became green, his grin stretched wide he played with your little mind, playing with your fears. When he was doing this he in turn figured out how you hated living in that house with that monster of a mother. Your expression became duller and you lost it because of the unfair circumstances. Yes, it was unfair, you won but you felt like a loser. You just lost your time and now without finding a solution or the true freedom.

From your mouth, sighs came and then you were trembling like a leaf, while your mind recalled those awful memories. You were fighting very hard to get rid of them but it seemed useless, “N-no…! “, you said in a whisper, you felt cold but the cold came from inside you.

“Oh, darling, what are you doing? Are you afraid? I could accompany you at the exit, if you want.” Dice got closer to you, placing one hand on your hip and with the other hand he caressed your wet cheek.

You were doing your best not to cry in front of him and you found the courage to say, “No, I don’t want!” you tried screaming but your words got locked in your throat so he just patted your back.

“You’re not forced to go there, you’re free. You’re not made for that life, it’s shameful, they ruined you…” his soft smile helped you to calm yourself a little more even if you could not trust him but you could bet, anyone in this world was better than your mother. Your personal Hell was already your home. Nothing could be compared to that, and no one could compare with her perfidy.

“I’ve nowhere to go… I-I…”, then he silenced, placing his finger on your mouth.

”Shhh… Don’t worry dear, only Death has no solution… If you desire, you can stay here.” and his eyes returned back to green and you noticed an evil grin on his face but it last few seconds, and then he returned confident, “You still have time to change your mind.” and maybe he was going to win his prize despite the defeat. Dice was right, you would have given your soul to him anyway, because you were too desperate.

“You’re in control of your own destiny.” pronounced Dice, using similar words of that man you encountered.

You wanted to be the one who decided your own fate for once and, even if those decisions were wrong, you would be the one to make that mistake. You were not going to regret it. You did not care anymore!

There was no difference between Hell and Heaven, maybe the only difference was the hypocrisy that painted the sky. You chose to stop with this life made up of illusions. This was the path of the damnation, the one your mother hated so much. You did not know what was right for you but, at this point, anything was important and you were only a human without a place in the world.

“At least, I’ve nothing to lose…” his eyes got brighter because these were the words. This made him very proud of you, and he caressed your cheek, nodding.

“I’d be glad to be your guide, it will be extraordinary! You can consider me as your Virgilio, in this voyage through Hell.” but, on the contrary of Dante, you were not designed to go to Heaven and there was no Beatrice who would help you, no God or Saviour.

You were going to donate your soul to the Devil of your own free will. It was something paradoxical, only a true desperate person would take a decision like this but there was a lot of time before it happened and Dice had his own plan for you, a plan he has not even revealed you yet.

Then, he spoke again, “I hope you won’t live to regret it…” there was no turning back, he would say but he didn’t. He gave you a blissful glance, inviting you to sleep since you appeared very tired and this huge bed was very comfortable looking and soft that you were unable to deny.

“I’m so tired…” these were your last words and this time no horrid dreams were about to take you. “Just rest your little head and everything will be fine…” after hearing his words, you have been catapulted in the embrace of Morpheus.

It was time for you to lose all your hopes of this mortal life because another one was already happening because…

 

_Abandon all hope, you who enter here._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Ignavi: I did not find the proper translation in English for this word, so I used the original term used by Dante Alighieri. The “Ignavi” are those damned souls (sinners) who are located in the “Anti-inferno”. Those souls are not welcome in Hell and not even in Heaven; they are those people that have never taken a decision by themselves. They have never lived their life. They cannot be defined as “evil” but not even as “good” so they are useless. They are also those people who have never had their own idea and they just followed other’s, they had no personality.  
> I imagine that the reader is seen as an “Ignavo” because of this reason, since they appear very neutral and they are afraid to think with their own mind, so this makes them easier to manipulate.


	5. By my side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome again, friends.  
> I'm so sorry I don't post new chapters very often but I have had several problems so my mind is tired.  
> I hope you will enjoy this chapter, and I want to thank all the people who have left comments until now. Thanks!

The darkness embraced your weak body as you fell asleep.

A darkness you found comfortable. The eternal nothingness surrounded your inexistent soul. The one you donated to the Devil according to you own will.

Your mind was filled with void and obscurity and you were glad no bad dream could have ruined your sleep. No nightmare tormented your nights. No monster chased after you, hidden in the shadow of your room. No more screams in the middle of the night, your own screams. The way your throat burned every time you yelled because of the fear you felt. You kept your breath hearing the remote steps of your mother that heard your laments. She shouted at you to stop, you were big enough not to be scared for invisible monsters. 

No more the sound of her voice that insulted you. No more the sound of her whip that scratched your soft skin or her hands that slapped your face. The sound of your own crying when you asked for mercy but she just ignored you, increasing your agony.

Everything of it disappeared in the oblivion of your corrupted mind. With your soul, even those nightmares and that awful reality vanished, like a cloud of smoke that vapored in the air.

For once in your life, you have rested without any worry or fear and this was a miracle. A dreamless sleep. Your mind was as black as a black hole and as deep as the universe. No sound could be heard in the vast space. For you, the universe was meaningless. It has always been like that but maybe you were going to change your mind and find a new sense in your life. You would have given a new sense to this Universe. A new rebirth. A new Big Bang.

Just like every other black hole, you had to learn how to absorb the light of somebody else to survive. Your light was already sucked by your malefic mother, so you had no other choice than plunder others of their own vitality so you could feel alive again.

This dreamless sleep lasted an eternity, or maybe just a blink of an eye, because you did not perceive the flow of the time. Maybe it was not passed at all. Your body was heavy but light at the same time, and your mind was emptied from every thoughts. You were not completely awake but not even sleeping. You were floating in the air like the ghost of yourself.

With a lot of fatigue, you moved your fingers and your hands. As if you were drugged, or anesthetized, your senses were dumb. Then, you moved your arm and you were able to perceive your other arts. Your body took possession of its own capability and you woke up.

The place where you were was familiar and silent. It was a huge bedroom, it was the same bedroom where Dice brought you when you fainted the last time. There was no trace of him and you were alone in this majestic and refined chamber. You lifted yourself, seating on the soft and comfortable mattress while your curious eyes were scrutinizing every corner of this room. The tiles that covered the walls were encased in gold. These walls were so lucid and bright that you were able to admire your own reflection in them as if they were a golden mirror. The face you saw in that surface was total different from the one you left behind. You were still the same person with the same old features but something in your eyes, maybe the aura that surrounded you, was different but it was not scary. You still did not understand what that gleam in your eyes was. Maybe only a mere fantasy.

Alone in this huge room, you had no idea what was hidden beyond that door. What you were going to find. What monstrous faces you were about to see. Faces scarier that the ones you met in your nightmares. These ones were real and evil.

This fear disappeared the moment you noticed your reflection in the golden wall. The way you were staring at your own eyes. That terror became curiosity and you just wanted to discover the secrets of this world. That door was an obstacle at your new awareness. 

You got up on your feet, your steps were slow and rigid, and then you reached the door that hid mysteries and enigma under its veil. As you opened it, a glow made of darkness invaded the room, even your sight blinded itself for a moment until the door swung open, and you could admire that awareness.

A new world of damnation appeared in front of your eyes even if it was still dark and you could barely recognize the figures that danced in the darkness.

Chants and echoes filled your ears. You were captured by these voices like a sailor enchanted by a mermaid’s melody. 

The corridors you were passing through were full of creatures and entities unknown at this earth. There were humans, monsters and other things you were unable to define.

Lascivious screams came out a room as you walked trying to hold on to your last piece of rationality.

Behind that door, demons were playing their game of demise. You were unable to give any kind of sense to it. You were not even aware of how you had found the courage to cross that demoniac threshold, putting your hand on the knob. The person you were now was so different from the person you were yesterday. Your past self would have never done what your future self was about to do and you were not even total aware of it.

Beyond that door the void of the universe welcomed you, as if it was a portal for another dimension - perhaps this idea was not just a mere fantasy-. A thousand eyes coming from the darkness were staring at you: eyes of gigantic proportions shined into the primordial and total vacuum.

Those eyes were terrifying, it was impossible to calculate the amount of them, and they were all focused on you. As if you were their target and they were the viewfinder of some crazy gods who decided to go on a hunt trip in the middle of the universe. You looked through them as if it was some sort of challenge between you and those mysterious bulbs. You have never turned away your gaze.

Inside one of those enormous orbs, you got the impression to see a distant memory; there was your mother and she was accusing you for something as she always did. In another bulb, there was a child who cried in its own cradle. That baby was you, an innocent and unaware little infant that had no idea of what was going to happen in its unexpected life. Nobody would have never guessed that a little child would have suffered this much in its life. No one could ever predict the misery this existence brought to an individual.

In another eye made of darkness there was a desolate landscape, you could glimpse a grave … Was it yours?

After this vision, you retraced your steps, while those looks became more threatening and hungry. They were showing you your young existence: what you have been and what you will be. You closed the door behind you, holding your breath while your brain regained lucidity and warmth.

How many other terrible creatures and realms these doors hid. Surely, you had no intention of finding it out.

You kept wandering through the mysterious corridors of this place that you were not able to define.

At the end of a corridor, there was a feeble light: was it the light of salvation? What light could shine in hell? Perhaps it was another flame of madness. The flame of sin.

The closer you came, the more that light became more intense and brighter until it dazzled you.

A show of terror and perversion took place before your incredulous eyes: Abominable creatures and humans were mating together without any shame and impunity. Men who wore pig masks - at least, you supposed they were masks because their realism was shocking – they were screwing women who were panting and shouting of pleasure.

Groups of monsters and deformed organisms exchanged their own bodily fluids as if it were succulent nectar coming out of their sweaty bodies. From the ceiling, it was hung a chandelier made of bones that you were not able to identify … Were they bones of animals, monsters or men? You did not want to know.

On it, there were perched two women with the features of birds that were mating together shouting and emitting indefinable verses.

Your contemplation was interrupted by a slight sound coming from very close. Someone was whispering in your ear. You could smell the nauseating breath of a deformed creature staring at you with eyes devoid of orbits, from its skull came out worms and its tongue was long and full of malodorous pustules. It was so close that you could almost touch it. A retching stopped in your throat and, before losing consciousness, you found the courage to escape. The stairs were steep and endless. In your nostrils, you could still sense that obscene stench. Your head was spinning, and your ears were ringing.

These traumatic visions would never have left your mind that was too traumatized by this life. There was no cure for this disease called existence. Or maybe there was a cure named Death. You had no idea if you were dead or alive.

Avoiding the mischievous looks and the insane words uttered by the sinner’s mouths, you have reached another door; you hoped it would lead you to the true exit. You did not have the faintest idea of what to do when you would have reached it, since you were still alone and lost in this den of fools.

You closed the huge door behind you counting your own breaths. Your eyes closed themselves, your head bowed and heavy. The beats of your heart became slower as you regained lucidity and conscience. All of this had been absurd. Completely insane. This was just a taste of the restlessness you would have seen from now on.

You touched your sweaty forehead, reopening your eyes, tending to put your thoughts in order when you realized that someone was staring at you until now. While you were picking up the pieces of your broken sanity, a person was watching you very closely. No monster this time, in fact, you did not yell but you were tangled.

You did not even realize his arrival, as if he walked with a stealthy step. Somehow, you were happy to see him because you could have wandered around this labyrinth of perdition for the rest of the eternity.

Your eyes lit up, at least he looked more reassuring than all the other monsters, but you knew it was only appearance. His look was impeccable but his deviance was interior.

Only moans came out from your mouth as you contemplated his emerald eyes. Some seconds or some hours have passed since you pronounced his name. A dull sound spilled out your lips, your throat was dry.

“Have you seen a ghost, darling?” King smiled at you, ignoring the fact that you were still shocked.

A ghost would not scare you that much. Because the horrid scenarios you have observed in that room were already tattooed in your mind. Nothing was normal in this place, maybe for him but not for you.

“You?” you said after contemplating the void and your brain was unable to create complete sentences. Dice appeared mortified at your improvise exclamation.

“Oh, have you already forgotten my name? It breaks my heart!” his voice appeared melodramatic even if he was still smirking. How startling his acting ability was.

“S-sorry…I didn’t forget it. Wasn’t it King Dice?” you barely could remember your own name after all the awful things you have lived. He was still the only person you knew here, even if you were still unsure about his honesty, if you could truly believe in him. It was better than being alone at least.

“Mister. Call me Mr. Dice!” his tone was severe, harsher, but it lasted a few moments and he kept on smiling as before, “Anyway, what’s going on? From your expression, I wouldn’t say you’re having fun!” he chuckled, amused. A gleam of sadism coloured his eyes for an instant.

“No, at all… “ you answered, sighing.

“Actually, I was searching for you. I thought you were still sleeping in the Suite. Luckily, I found you.” his tone returned being confident and even you were trying to gain your lucidity again.

“I’m lost… Maybe I should’ve stayed there…” you shrugged your shoulders.

“Ah, it’s ok. You were just curious, and I appreciate that. After all, you were locked in the four walls of you room for so long so it’s logical you wanted to discover something new. Is what you saw suitable to your comfort?” he smiled, wickedly.

“Uhm… I wouldn’t say so…” no way you could define that experience amusing.

“I guess it was shocking for you. You will get used to it, so don’t worry your pretty little mind. If you want to explore further, I’ll wait.” This time you were able to perceive a note of sarcasm in his tone and you smiled, embarrassed.

“No, I’ve seen enough for today. Actually, I was afraid to be left alone…” you were about to say something else but you just stared at his green irises as if you were searching for the true meaning of the existence there. Dice also lost himself contemplating your eyes for a time that seemed eternal but then he decided speaking again.

“Oh, I didn’t mean to make you worry. I’m sure you would have been fine. You’ve met monsters more ruthless than them.” His smile appeared almost paternal and maybe this time it was truly genuine.

“Yes… “ you nodded.

“I hope you’re not regretting your decision yet…” he asked, without draw away his eyes from yours.

“I don’t know, actually.” You were the one who ran away from his obstinate glance.

“I promise, you won’t regret it, dear. Besides, we can go discussing somewhere else. I’ve a lot to tell you.” he proposed and there was no time to waste.

“Oh, okay…”

You really hoped that you would not regret it. After all, this was the first decision you have ever taken in your life and it could not be wrong. However, even if it would have been the worst decision you have ever taken, it was still yours. Only yours.

This man was proving to be very understanding to you, gentle in his devious ways, you appreciated his courtesy of convenience. Dice had his own agenda, you were aware of it, so you found your comfort in the kindness of a stranger. In your past life, even false generosity was not granted to you.

You were contemplating your thoughts, he was watching you and it was as if he was able to perceive your feelings with a single look.

“Oh, darling. You should stop tormenting your little mind with these inappropriate thoughts. Think about your future. Your new life. Your new self. “

You did not say a word but maybe it was true, you should have erased all those negative memories from your mind concentrating your mental energy only to your future. Even if it sounded absurd searching for a new tomorrow in this place of damnation. In Hell.

You only stared his eyes that had regained its natural colour, they were not green anymore, maybe he was sincere and there was some empathy in his heart for you.

Then, King held out his hand, gallantly, and you grabbed it, his palm was soft and larger than yours that was so tiny and delicate. Your hand was warm and sweaty, because of the fear you felt before, while his hand was gloved so you could not perceive the warmth of his skin.

"Do not be afraid!” he winked at you, placing his other hand on your hip.

It was his recommendation before a hole was created under your feet. It was a sort of portal, just like the ones you saw in the mysterious room of the monstrous eyes. You crashed into space like Alice in Wonderland that had fallen into the rabbit hole. A similar world of madness was waiting for you there. Were you precipitating in Hell?

No, not exactly. You and Dice were catapulted in a new room, maybe another suite. In all your life, you have never seen so much majesty all at once. It was also gorgeous and full of elegant and luxurious furniture as the last one you visited.

“We won’t be here for too long. Just enough time for you to refresh yourself. You can regain consciousness of your faculties before we have our dinner.” Dice explained to you, showing one of his shiniest smiles.

"Dinner?” you asked, blinking your eyes.

“Oh, dear. Did you really believe I’d let you work right away? You look so tired. How long have you not eaten a decent meal?” he spoke in a fatherly tone, caressing your cheek gently.

“Ah … Do I appear so miserable?” you were aware your appearance was terrible. Since you were here, you have not taken a shower; you have not eaten and you have not relaxed yourself not even one time. Your condition was the same of a hungry and tired zombie.

“Oh, no, do not get me wrong. I don’t think you’re miserable. You only had bad luck … "but you have interrupted him before he could continue, "I don’t want to talk about this anymore, please.” you massaged your head, sighing.

Being interrupted was something that he would not tolerate but this situation was different and a curious smile drew on his face. Dice appreciated your change of behaviour. It was sublime, and it was happening before his eyes. He wanted to be the architect of this miracle. Being the one who would have corrupted your candid heart. You were not unconscious of this mutation because you perceived it in every bones of your body, on your skin, in your spirit. You were not scared, maybe a little confused, but still very curious to know the new person you were about to become.

“You’re right, dear.” Dice kissed your forehead and let you go.

You could not believe you were going to have a date with Dice. You did not consider it as a romantic or gallant meeting, you were not aware of his plan yet. This experience has taught you that nobody could be trusted, he helped you reaching this awareness, but it did not mean you had to be submissive and believe every word he said. As if you were a slave who passed from a master to another. Now that you have taken possession of your freedom, you could not lose it. However, making enemies in a place like this was too dangerous. A place you did not know, so you had to be guided by him. Dice would have taught you how to survive in this warren of monsters and demons.

Reflected in the mirror, your new self was smiling at you. A reflection that you did not recognize but it belonged to you. You were not afraid of it. It intrigued you. This change would have been inevitable by living in a place like this.

While you were taking a warm bath, washing away any confusion, you decided to follow the mysterious fate. You had already lost your soul, there was nothing else to lose for you. The lack of a soul made you more fearless, curious and colder. Maybe this was the reason of your mutation.

You dipped your head into the warm water, opening your eyes. Everything appeared still and silent, crystalline and pure. You wanted your mind to be as clear as the water.

There was no more time to waste and someone was waiting for you, so you re-emerged. The knocking of the door catapulted you into reality.

“Hey, dear. I need to go out for a moment but take it easy. I’ve left you some clean clothes on the mattress, you can wear them. I’ll come back later to get you, pardon me…” Dice said, deeply apologetic, and you could say that you felt the same way.

“W-What?” you did not want to be left alone again. Your voice seemed like desperate and you were about to open the door but you stopped, realizing that you had nothing on you.

"No need to be alarmed, dear. I’m glad you already miss me, but it seems that here without me the shack is not able to move forward. Au revoir!” and then only silence, apart from the thud of the door, the last sign of his passage.

You found yourself alone again. King had assured you he would be back, and there was no reason to panic. The feeling you felt for him was not yet clear to you, maybe it was an enigmatic admiration or a delicious fear. Or maybe it was a wicked tenderness. It was as complicated as a mathematical equation to explain. In your eyes, he appeared as a father figure, he was severe but also sweet when he had consoled you and listened to your problems as if it was his duty. It was something natural, anything wrong or dirty, just a mere desire to be protected and accepted. You have never had a true father and the only parent you had could not be considered as a decent mother.

You thought about it while you were drying yourself. Maybe it was just like that, in him you saw the father you have never had. Something that had been denied to you and that you now craved more than anything else.

After the bathroom, you came back to the deserted suite and there was something on the bed, some clothes.

It was an elegant clothing; it was simple and seemed to be of your size. It reflected your simplicity and humility, because you were not the kind of person who loved being noticed. This outfit included a shirt, a dark blue jacket with tightly matched trousers, and a pair of elegant shoes, and everything fitted you like a glove. The size of each garment was perfect. Dice had managed to understand your sizes from a single glance. There was nothing succinct or provocative, as if he wanted to put you at ease. You liked it and it was always better than wearing your mother’s rags. You looked like a gallant and refined person dressed like that.

Later, while you were admiring yourself in the mirror, someone knocked on the door and you already feared that it could be one of those filthy monsters. You were already looking for a place to hide.

“It’s me, can I come in? Are you presentable?” Dice asked, chuckling.

His gallantry left you baffled but it was pleasant. At least, it was not a monster, so you had nothing to fear.

"Oh, yes … Come on in.” you answered in a weak voice.

“Hi again, dear! Oh là là, you wear the clothes I gave you. You’re enchanting! They fit nice on you!” He complimented your look, admiring you. He seemed pleased to see you with the clothes he chose for you but his look was more curious and there was no malice in his compliments. In fact, before you were wondering about what kind of feeling you could feel for him, but not what he could feel for you.

“Yes, I like it …” you answered, nodding.

“I’m content! I have an eye for these things! Blue is your colour.” Dice got closer to you, placing his hands on your shoulders, it seemed he was unable to take his eyes off you.

“Really?” You asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Of course, more than any other colour. The blue of the night, of darkness but also of melancholy. The blue I saw in your soul the first time I met you. I can see it even now.” he caressed your cheek, smiling tenderly. Again, that tenderness was growing in your heart.

"It’s fascinating. It’s a beautiful colour, yes” you just smiled, blushing.

“Well, then we can go”. Dice offered his own arm to you, so you could embrace it and you headed with him out of the suite toward a new destination.

The corridors where you were passing through were empty, you felt relieved, because no evil eyes were staring at you, scanning your past, except for Dice’s eyes that were still observing you but you did not feel his glance uncomfortable but quite protected with him. Nobody was going to hurt you in his surroundings.

Suddenly, your stomach desecrated the silence because you were truly hungry. Your cheeks coloured themselves with embarrassment.

“Oh, are you starving to dead, darling?” he chuckled, finding it adorable; you just nodded thinking about the last time you ate something. Maybe it was yesterday or the day before, your memories were vague and overshadowed.

After a short walk, you arrived near the dining area that you have never seen before. You could hear a chatter murmurs coming from behind the glass door of the restaurant, and you did not imagine that this place was so huge and crowded.

During all this time, he has not spoken to you, but it was not a problem because you had nothing to say. Actually, you were not able to explain your thoughts. You wanted to ask him a lot but the words were stuck in your throat.

Then you finally came in, Dice smiled at you noticing your agitation in seeing all these strange creatures that surrounded the area: they were having their meals as normal people. Indeed, they were just normal customers, so they would not hurt you. All these monsters were here to enjoy the evening like anyone else. This time you did not feel any fear because the environment was nice and comfortable. It seemed a sort of luxury hotel where visitors were relaxing, enjoying their dinner. It did not appear as a Hell’s boundless place.

You followed Dice without discussing until you reached another area of the restaurant, a reserved area. There was nobody else here except you and him.

With a gallant gesture, he invited you to take a seat, accompanying the chair beneath you. A strange feeling burned in you, it was embarrassment and joy because you felt spoiled, but it would be also a sense of novelty. He also took a seat after remaining silent for a while. Then, he reflected for a while. This silence was more embarrassing than pleasant, but he wipe it out starting speaking before the discomfort could fall in the room.

“Many things happened today, don’t you think? I understand your anxiety, your fear is justified, but you’ll not run any risk if you stay at your place.“ his tone appeared stern, no more friendly or gallant as before, but you did not turn away your gaze from his, not even a moment. You just nodded, without answering so he kept saying, "Normally, I would never have accepted a common patron here, your soul would be rotting in hell - if not now, in your near future - but something about you captivated me. Perhaps your despair, you would have done everything to escape from your miserable life. You’ve already paid your debts. You’ve already lived your personal hell, haven’t you?” it was a rhetorical question, and you did not answer.

"It’s like God made fun of you.” he gave a mocking smile, “Your own soul screamed to be saved, as you could see, I saved it. You even won my game, so I had no reason to let you stay.” Dice grinned, almost maliciously, but he was not regretting his decision. He was amazed that you won honestly, the beginner’s luck had helped you. Strange as he had done nothing to avoid this, perhaps he wanted to see how far this luck would have gone, so he decided not to cheat in turn.

“I guess you don’t even know how you won.” your naivety made him smile, “In any case, now we’re here to celebrate your victory and new life, right?” Dice stared at you for a few seconds with a mischievous curiosity. Shortly thereafter, a monstrous waiter arrived, but you have not noticed him because you were still observing your enigmatic interlocutor.

The waiter placed two crystal glasses on the table, pouring in them delicious champagne. You have never ingested alcohol in your whole life. You stared at the glass in front of you, looking puzzled as Dice watched you in amusement. For you, everything was new and curious, he almost softened seeing your reactions.

“Then, cheers!“ he raised the glass towards you, waiting for your answer.

"Oh … O-Of course …” you were not so sure but you could not back off.

“To your new self!” He proclaimed, smiling at you.

“To my new self.” You answered, raising the glass in turn. You wet your lips, testing the taste of champagne, it was not bad but you were not used to drink. For this time, you decided to give up the pleasures of Bacchus.

“Despite everything, you’re still innocent and fearful.” his tone was not severe this time, but thoughtful. He put the glass on the table and you imitated his own gesture

“Everything is so new to me … Abnormal, I’d say” you confessed, lowered your eyes.

“But what is really normal? Would you define your old life as normal?” Dice asked, tapping his fingers on the wood of the table. A sound that you found relaxing, so you remained hypnotized. Your thought materialized itself in your mind so vivid and crystalline as water. You welcomed it, without any fear of expressing it.

“No, not at all … It was terrible. I hated it with all my heart, I thought I hated my mother as well, but now I can only pity her. Lying to oneself is even worse than lying to others, and she has always lied to herself. The distress she caused to herself is not comparable to what she has caused to me. Since her distress became my awareness, it has enlightened me, made me aware of myself, of my desires. I know myself a little more now. I’ve never thought I could have a chance and the only one I had was the one my mother had chosen for me. I realized, It was not true, but I have still time to change, to try while she is stuck in her own swamp.

Hating my mother would now be useless, I don’t want it, not anymore. She will remain alone for the rest of the eternity, no one will ever love her. Alone with her lies, she’ll end her own existence. This is the worst punishment.”

Your words went out limpid like the water of a waterfall. Dice listened to every word you say and you could see a gleam in his eyes, it was pride. Moreover, that tenderness returned, your heart got warmer, you would have confessed everything without regrets to him, because there was nothing left to regret. In his look, you almost saw the same tenderness, a pure and cordial kindness.

“It’s admirable that you don’t want to stain your heart with hatred, which you don’t seek revenge, I understand your point of view and I respect it. This is the reason why I decided to keep you with me, so you will be able to discover your true potential. It’s your right following your own path. I don’t want you to feel like a slave, without your freedom. I want you to feel free to open your heart to me, you don’t have to feel unworthy or horrible because we already are here. What we don’t possess is the candour and the voluptuousness of a pure soul, like yours. As long as it remains pure, I wish to enjoy it until its last breath.” because your spirit would not have stayed clean forever and it was destined to get lost in the limbo of sin.

"I’m not even going to lie to you, because Hell is still Hell. Here you will see damned souls of all kinds, abnormal freaks and the lowest sins. You must also be aware of this. New traumas will attack your young mind, and new monstrous faces will torment your sleep, staining your dreams with perversion. You are strong and determined enough to survive. I’m sure of that.” Dice gave you a gentle smile, contemplating the expression on your face.

“Um, I understand. Could you promise me something else instead?” you asked, your eyes shone with curiosity.

“What, darling?” even his eyes lighted up.

“That you will be always by my side, I don’t want to be left alone anymore.” your voice was almost a whisper, but also serious and firm. You did not show any kind of embarrassment this time, but only sincerity. That tenderness made you talk. You needed to confess this hidden thought.

“I think I can keep this promise.” Dice was impressed by your frankness, but he was pleased too.

You desired asking him more, but until now, there was no reason and he wanted to spend this moment of tranquillity with you without worrying himself about anything, because it would not last forever.

The Pandora’s box was about to be opened and truths of inconceivable cruelty would take shape and colour. You were as aware as he was. A new trauma was about to shatter your psyche. But perhaps it would have been less painful than the others because you were not alone now.

Even the most nefarious journey to Hell would not have been so painful as long as he was there to accompany you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was very introspective, I wanted to analyse more the personality of the reader.  
> At first, I wanted it to be different because I thought about other things but I like it the way it is so I decided to keep it.  
> Actually, I’m impressed by myself because I did not imagine I was able to write a long fanfiction (with more chapters) constantly. I usually write drabbles and one shots because they’re easier and I don’t have to put so much effort in them but this time I’m proud of myself.  
> It’s like I’m fighting against my own laziness, but I truly like this story so I had fun writing it. I hope you’re having fun reading it as well!
> 
> I actually would like to make this story more "horror".  
> Of course, everyone can suggest me an idea -if you have one-. Especially regarding the relationship between the reader and Dice have.
> 
> Thanks for reading-!  
> Let me know your opinion. See you again1


	6. The abyss of soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey-!  
> A new chapter, finally.  
> Actually, I am having a lot of fun in writing this long fiction. I cannot believe I was able to write all these chapters, wow!  
> I hope you can appreciate even this new one!  
> This chapter is very harsh (even if also the old ones were cruel) but it is the spirit of the story so the rating is always quite high.  
> I have several ideas for the continuous after this chapter and I think I will add new characters so maybe it will become more interesting and variegated.  
> Every kind of advice and feedback is accepted!

Dice held your hand and you felt protected. You feared no danger. Nothing could break you, anymore.

As if you made peace with yourself and discovered your true nature. You were ready to cross the door of transgression and learn all the most infamous secrets that he was about to reveal. You wanted to know. Your mind burned like the flames that surrounded this Hell. Your veins pulsed stronger under your skin, and your heart was beating so hard that was going out of your chest.

His hand was soft and warm, you could not get lost until he was by your side. He guided your insecure steps making the environment around not so terrible.

Languages of fire surpassed the dark and infinite sky of this infernal hole. This was a damned place and forgotten by God.

A chilling scream blew through the folds of the wind, scratching your flesh. You clasped his hand stronger as if you feared that the wind could take you away. Dice looked at you with a paternal expression. A tenderness that did not fit with this diabolical landscape. You could not imagine that he was a servant of the devil. It was hard to believe. You found your lucidity again and you continued walking.

You had no idea where he was taking you. He wanted to show you something. These were his last words before you two started walking down this mysterious path.

All the souls in this place had a story to tell, they got their memories and you were their listener. You could not escape even if you wanted to. It was too late to come back, but you held his hand harder so you forgot your primal fear. Their stories were obscure and horrific and maybe your little mind would have been traumatized because it was something too painful to bear.

Stranger voices whispered through your ears and they said words of nonsense you could not understand as if they spoke a language that you did not know. It was true because they spoke the language of the dead. One day, not too far from now, you would be able to understand them and the things you would hear would make your bones frozen. Dice would be your personal interpreter so you would be able to understand the magical wonders of this world. He did not even know where to start this tale.

After sometimes, you have not even counted the minutes or the hours, and maybe here the time did not pass normally so time was useless, you and him stopped walking. In front of you, there was a group of people who crawled, screamed and asked for mercy. They were sinners, you guessed, they seemed left to their own devices.

Something was crawling on the ground and you did not realize that creature was so close to you. It touched you, screaming. It was imploring you but you did not understand what it said because its appearance was too horrible, so your mind blacked out. From its deformed mouth slipped out a trail of drool. You screamed at the top of your lungs while that creature was climbing up on your leg. Your sight was foggy; you jumped back trying to escape from its grip until another monster came out of nowhere. This demon stabbed the sinner with a fork and the crawling sinner yelled for the last time before falling unconscious. The demon took its body ignoring you and then it disappeared into the oblivion. This scene was so scary and abnormal that you lost your equilibrium and you fell. Your breath was stuck in your throat and you were unable to breathe properly.

These kinds of scenes were normal here and you had to get used to them. Seeing you so shocked, Dice got worried, he instantly kneeled next to you, caressing your face, and you found your safety again in his emerald eyes as he smiled at you whispering sweet words. The demoniac landscape disappeared, and your fear evaporated with the dense smoke created by the flames.

“I’m so sorry, dear. I know it hurts but it’s necessary… I didn’t want to traumatize you, I’m with you!” he said caressing your cheek. This was not a dream, you were walking through hell and horrible monsters wanted to devour you. He was right, it must be done and these scenes would become routines of your life. It was a sort of training, he wanted you to be brave, and you had to learn how to act cold and insensitive in front of the most horrible things. 

“N-No…it’s ok… It was sudden…” you said with a whisper of a voice as you learned how to breathe again.

“Are you sure?” his voice was serious but low, getting closer and his eyes shined.

“Yes…” and you actually did not care of the consequences because you had anything to lose.

“Fine, but don’t be afraid. They can’t hurt you, you’re safe.” Dice showed up a reassuring smile.

You were not a mortal anymore even if you were still confused and you did not know how to define yourself now. If you were a human or a spirit, and this was not the right time to question yourself with these existential questions.

With a firm and delicate gesture, Dice helped you getting up and your mind started working again and those questions did not stop tormenting you and you needed knowing more about this madness despite you were still scared. Ignorance made people more cheerful but unsatisfied.

“I’m so sorry…” you said realizing that you were behaving like a little child. You felt a little stupid.

“Oh, don’t be silly, dear. There’s no reason to be, others must say sorry here and not you.” and you forgot about everything. That fear abandoned your body, like if anything terrible had ever happened. His sweet voice cradled you and it sounded like melody to your ears.

“Uhm… Okay…” you said, nodding softly.

Subsequently, his smile became more malicious and he got even closer still caressing your soft cheek with his delicate and warm touch. His lips laid on the corner of your mouth, leaving a sweet and fleeting kiss. It was something tender and gentle, and you had not even realized it at first. Even this time, you were taken unprepared but you felt no fear now because you felt warmed. Your heart lighted up and your eyes went wide open.

“I thought you needed some tenderness and I need too.” he chuckled softly, studying your embarrassed expression and you tried to keep your cool but reading your thoughts was too easy.

This little moment lasted an eternity or, at least, you thought so, and it was pleasant and precious. A part of you desired it would not have ended and you had appreciated every one of his touches and words. Not that you were falling in love or something but it was a new feeling you have never felt before because anyone in this world has never given you affection, not even your mother. Some love, this was what you craved. To be accepted for what you were without hearing any insults or feeling the malefic whip of your mother on your skin, crying or screaming during the night because of a nightmare. Everything had disappeared and your heart kept beating again. Dice was right, and you truly needed it, you were too shy to express your thoughts and you were unaware of your desire. He truly read your mind and you were glad for it. You smiled tenderly, blushing and then he invited you to follow him.

He has not held your hand this time because you had to learn how to walk alone and be independent because this was a merciless place. Next time, he would not have been here to reassure you with his kisses and caresses, you had to survive alone. 

“What was that… Uhm… Thing?” you did not know how to define that creature who attacked you but you were curious and this silent made you uncomfortable.

“A sinner who likes misbehaving.” His tone was calm as if he said something normal.

Your eyes wide opened and you sighed because it was very strange.

You imagined all those horrible people like your mother becoming a monster like that and a weird feeling crossed your mind at the thought that you could become like that. It was awful. You asked yourself what those people had done to deserve this fate. How did they become so monstrous? Was it their punishment? A part of you wanted to know more about their past life and this world but another part wanted to run away as fast as it could but it was impossible. You could not escape or hide anywhere.

“It was running free… So they can run away where they want…?” you asked looking at him with a pair of worried eyes even if you were more confused than worried and the danger was already gone.

“I said it likes misbehaving but you have anything to worry. Or maybe you want to know something else.” and his smile became bigger and even the light in his eyes shined. His was not a question but an affirmation because he was able to understand you more than you could understand yourself.

“Well… I was wondering if I would have become like that, I mean… It was scary but also very sad…” maybe you had not already realized where you were and those sinners were not innocent.

“Ah, sweetheart. I truly doubt that you’d become like that. They had committed sins you would never imagine. It makes no sense pitying them, spare your sorrow for someone else.” He smirked, and maybe you did not want to know about their stories but the little and curious voice in your head spoke before your rationality could argue.

“What happened to it?” you asked to him and his smile became darker.

“He was a serial rapist and he had raped five women when he was alive. He had no mercy or scruples. Do you still think it’s sad?” his expression was serious and his voice glacial and low. Those words, the way he told them, their significance, were cruel and you did not know how to reply.

That man –even if you would have never defined “man” someone who did such an action- had committed one of the most terrible crimes. You did not know his name or his victim’s names but you felt guilty and sad for them. Maybe it was right; he was paying for his mistakes, so you had not to feel bad for him. Only the thought of it made you shiver but you tried to stay calm.

“There’s something more awful than that…” Dice broke the silence, since you did not answer, he kept talking, “Every crime is atrocious but as time passes by, you will learn how to act indifferent towards them and even your heart will stop beating.” He did not look you in the eyes, and he stared at the void in front of him. His voice was still cold and, despite you were in the Hell, you were freezing.

“I suppose there’s no limit at the worst.” You sighed and he nodded slightly.

The two of you reached another place, it was a desolated land full of demons and monsters. There were demoniac creatures who were torturing the sinners. You were able to read their expression of pain while they suffered the most horrible tortures that the Holy inquisition would only dream. This was quite sarcastic because Dice was about to reveal an awful truth you would never expect, or maybe you could but you did not want to realize it yet. It was a truth of hypocrisy and shame. 

His expression was disgusted and King looked at those sinners as if they were excrements or horrid beetles. Certainly, he did not estimate the men he was watching –and men was a euphemism since those creatures were not men anymore but something inhuman and indefinable.

“Look at them. How they crawl as the dirty worms they are!” you have never heard this tone from him, it was filled with repulsion and hatred. You looked at him confused and then he smiled at you and his expression mutated once again. Now his smile was warm and friendly.

“Do they deserve this?” you asked still staring at him and he kept smiling at you.

Dice thought you were still very naïve but not for too long. Because this world made people cruel and cold. So many terrible things you would have seen and learn. It was never enough.

“Oh darling. You can bet it. They don’t deserve your mercy or any of your thoughts of benevolence.” He sighed looking at those sinners with repulsion.

“So… Who are they?” you asked trying to supress your anxiety but you wanted to know. It was time for you to get rid of all your insecurities.

“People you knew very well, I mean, you didn’t know them in person but I guess, you’ve confessed to them the sins you’ve not committed.” and your eyes blanked for an instant.

Maybe you did not understand his words and it was strange, you were not sure.

“What?” you asked again with a low voice.

“There are more Saints here than in Heaven” and he giggled, but his laugh was forced, then he said, “They were all holy men in life. Not so holy if they are here now…” he shook his shoulders. “Do you want to know what they did for ending up in such a place of damnation?” Dice’s smile became darker as he looked at you and his irises were green.

“Oh, I don’t know if I want to know…” you confessed and it was a cruel truth, for real.

“It’s a luck you’re not in their mercy anymore. I mean, those people are rotten!” then he started walking getting closer to the torture’s area and you followed him without saying a word.

There was a naked man seated on a big triangle, he was stuck there without the possibility to escape or move since his arms and legs were tied up. He screamed and his eyes were wide open. The spike of the big triangle was inserted inside his anus. The gravity did all the rest as he still yelled and wriggled.

“It’s called “Judas cradle”, it’s a classic inquisition’s torture. It’s ironic we have to learn from them, don’t you think, dear?” and he chuckled and his laugh was sincere this time. Dice found this situation so amusing. His laughs mixed with the inhuman screams of the tortured man created a macabre sound effect.

“I’ve heard about it… It’s very terrible…” you looked away because it was an horrific vision.

“They’re experimenting their own machines. Anyway, that man is new here, so he will have a lot of fun for a long time until he will got used to it.” Dice smirked enjoying the torture’s show.

“It’s so strange… I can’t believe that they…” your old world was falling apart, and everything you had lived until now was a mere lie. An illusion. You did not know what to say.

“That man’s soul was very greedy and lustful and these are not features that suit to a holy man. But he’s not the worst, you’ll see…” Dice spoke and he moved on and you followed him.

A new scene of horror showed up in front of your shocked eyes. It was another sinner and he was being tortured like his companions. He was not alone because other sinners like him were keeping him company and their screams filled the hot air with desperation.

This was one of the most atrocious tortures ever existed and you did not want to watch it and their yells were enough to make you afraid. This torture was called “The rat torture” and, simply, the victims were devoured by rats, but there was more than that. There were two ways to use this torture, and it made the torture itself less boring and more brutal for the victim.

The first method was the easiest but it did not mean it was less painful. It needed a cage and a rat.

The unlucky man laid down on a plank of wood and his arts were tied up. The cage rested on his belly, and the underlying part of it was removed. The mouse inside the cage came into direct contact with the skin of the victim. Then a burning brazier was placed on the top of the cage. At this point, the trapped mouse, to escape from the heat, began to bite the victim’s flesh, eating him alive.

The second method was even cruellest than the first because now the mouse was inserted in one of the orifices of the victim (it could be the vagina or the anus). Then the orifice was sewed so the rat could bite and dug the internal organs until the victim would die in agony or from blood loss. 

This torture has been reserved for this new sinner but for now he was being tortured with the first method but it was still painful and degradant.

“I’m so sorry, darling” Dice’s voice brought you into reality. Yes, it was a horrible reality but maybe his words would distract you from this scene.

“What?” you said confused.

“I’m sorry you’ve to watch this atrocity…” he confessed and why was he saying this after all this time?

“You said it was necessary…” you answered, and you were more confused.

“I know, that’s why I apology, don’t be mad at me…” his smile seemed so sincere that you felt touched. You truly did not understand his true intentions or thoughts. He was a mystery for you. This made you curious despite the anxiety.

“I saw worse… I guess…” you sighed and it was true because your mother was not different from the men you were seeing. From those sinners. She was a sinner and she would have suffering the same pain. She would have been tortured like them. This thought was pleasant because she only deserved the worst. Strange how you were unable to feel sorrow for her. You did not pity her and you did not care about her destiny. How she would have burnt under here. Somehow, you were glad she would pay for her crimes.

“You’ll become stronger after that…” he said, as if he was making you a promise. His voice was paternal and warm. This horrid scene did not fit with the relaxing feeling his smile gave you. Yes, you were distracted but not for too long because that macabre show was still in front of your eyes.

“Uhm… Who’s this man?” this was a question you did not want to do. However, this tour regarded this. His expression mutated again and maybe even King did not want to give you an answer because this time the answer was about to make your blood frozen. Your heart would have stopped after that. Nobody was ready for hearing something like that. Dice himself was ashamed for confessing this dreadful reality.

With a cold voice, because he could not show his weak side, he told, “He was a predator. A children predator…” and your sight blacked out for a second as if someone turned the light off. It was your mind, which did not want to realize this information.

He continued saying, “ He was the principal of a Catholic institute for orphan children. When he was alive, he abused more than hundred kids and his crimes have always been ignored. Nobody has ever denounced these facts so the victims have never had their justice. These kinds of stories are more frequent that you think. Priests just like every churchmen are considered holy and untouchable. They represent purity and goodness, the good in the world. The word “priest” reassures people’s minds. Nobody would never doubt the person who represents God, the messenger of God. They are the bridge between the earth and the Heaven, and common people forget they’re still humans. They can sin like everybody else. Even I still shudder in front of this perfidy. I have seen atrocious things, but there are sins that overcome every level of depravity. The human being is a vile and despicable creature. Saints are the worst species because they are justified by their sanctity. They believe they aren’t guilty and that everything is granted to them…” he could say more than that but he took a break from his long speeches because you needed time to metabolize this information because your mind did not want to apprehend these awful words. Everything appeared so surreal and distorted and you lost your balance for a moment. You were about to fall when Dice picked you up before you could touch the ground.

“Oh, s-sorry…” you apologised without a reason.

“No reason to say sorry… It’s not your fault…” he did not expect you would react like this and his expression was perplexed. His soft hand caressed your cheek and he looked you in the eyes with tenderness.

“Uhm… I felt a little dizzy…” you sighed.

“Did they hurt you?” his voice was still paternal but it hid a sort of hatred, but this hate was not directed to you and you understood he hated religious people with all his heart.

“W-what? You asked, confused.

“I should’t have asked…” he said with a low voice.

For a moment, he imagined you had experienced the same fate of those poor children. Since your mother was violent and merciless it could be possible you lived this horrible experience. For the first time, you recognized real concern in his eyes and you just stared at him trying to explain your confused thoughts.

“No, it’s never happened. My mother was violent but she’s never gone this far…” and you sobbed because everything was too sad and you were unable to tolerate all of this for one more minute. You started crying, but your cry has been covered by the inhuman screams of the tortured sinners.

“Don’t’ cry, darling. Everything’s okay and here nobody’s going to hurt you.” and it was true because with him you would have never suffered. His features appeared confused as your sight was unfocused by your tears.

You nodded slightly, “It’s fine… I guess… I just lost control of myself…” after you saw all those terrible things, your mind exploded. You needed a rest, a break from all this madness.

“I think it’s enough for today. You’ve been brave….” He smiled gently and all the tortures you have seen until now and all the screams that echoed in the air meant anything compared to his smile. You felt comforted and relaxed with him and protected in his arms that all the atrocity that surrounded you made no more sense. You were not able to explain the feeling you felt for him. It was something tender and unique you have never felt for anybody else. A pure affection. Dice was a trickster and maybe his were mere lies and he was deceiving you but you did not care. Nobody had never been gentle with you so you would have not surprised if even his sweet words were bluffs.

After this moment of confusion, he accompanied you far away from this place so you could rest and find your rationality.

“Thanks…” you said, drying your own tears with the sleeves of your jacket.

“You’re welcome, dear but it’s not necessary. I’m glad you followed me in this path but I wanted to show you what the true Hell was. I’m sure you already knew, but you’re strong enough to bear it.” he kept smiling at you and all those atrocious voices were disappeared through the heat. Now you two were in a desolated land.

“It’s ok… It wasn’t a beautiful show but I don’t want you to feel guilty or something, I’ll be able to handle that… Reality’s never been easy to live anyway…” you sighed, looking down and then he picked up your chin smiling and he kissed your cheek tenderly. Your face coloured of pink, you were embarrassed and you did not still understand why he was acting so nice. Excessively nice, with you. if it was a flirt or a devious game of his to trick your mind, you did not find it out yet.

“Yes, I bet it! But I think it’s time to talk about business!” his sweet smile became more wicked and a mysterious portal appeared on the ground. He extended his hand and you grabbed it so the two of you jumped inside the hole and everything turned to black.

The scenery changed and you were not in the desolated and macabre land of Hell where sinners burnt anymore. You were in a huge and comfortable room. It was Dice’s office, you have never seen it before.

He invited you to take a place and you could not believe some minutes before you were observing tortured people and now you were in a rich and glamour place like this. You truly needed a rest!

“This day’s been hard and full of wonders, don’t you think?” of course, his tone was sarcastic because you would not define the things you had seen wonderful. “The tour took a lot of our time and I almost forgot about it, so we’ve to be fast now but there’s not so much to say.” He took a pause, sitting in front of you and he said, “I want you to work for me, are you in?” he asked, smiling wickedly.

“Work?” you asked.

You have never worked before and you had no experience. You did not know any kind of profession and you were not outgoing and charming enough to work in a Casino. You did not know anything about games or tricks. No, it made no sense. Maybe he was joking!

“Yes, what I said, dear. Work for me!” he articulated every syllable but your reaction was the same.

“Uhm… I can’t do anything. I’ve no experience!” you answered.

“You can learn. Nobody is born with experience…” then he pulled out of his desk a paper. It was a contract but not a normal contract.

“I don’t understand…” you confessed.

“Actually, the job I want you to do is very special! You’re suit for it! I want you to collect souls for us but, before that, you must donate your soul to the Devil.” He gave you the contract so you could read it.

You still possessed a soul and you could still deny his offer if you did not feel ready or agreed with his request. This situation was too strange and absurd and you were unable to think rationally.

“Collect souls?”, it sounded like a folly.

“Yes, you’re very tired, darling. I understand… Anyway you can read it before you sign, I don’t want to pressure you. Oh, look at the clock! It’s very late!”

Yes, he was still a businessman so he wasted a lot of his precious time with you but he spent a good time. Dice did not regret it and he was glad you had this chance and he was the one who gave you it. He knew you would take the right decision.

“Oh… What I have to do…?” you asked, taking the contract.

“Uhm? You can stay here for the night. We can discuss about the contract tomorrow. You need a rest and I have job to do. You can read the contract and sign it and everything will be fine!” this last phrase made you shiver because his eyes’ gleam was threatening and maybe you had no other choice to sign. It was true that you were exhausted and you wanted to sleep so your mind would be able to think properly.

“I understand, thanks for the hospitality.” You nodded and your voice was filled with warm.

“You’re welcome, do you have other questions?” he asked and his smile was gentle now.

“Uhm… Where can I find my room. Where should I go?” you had too many questions but there was no time to answer to all of them.

“Oh, it’s room number 33. It’s at the third floor so you’ve to take the Elevator or you can use the stairs if you prefer. Here’s your key!” the gave you the key of your room and it did not seem hard finding it.

“Oh, thanks… I hope I won’t lose myself…” you put the key in your pocket.

“You can always ask to the staff, someone’s always around. You’ll recognize them! They know you’re new so don’t despair!” you nodded.

“Okay…” you hoped you could do it alone because the people you met in this place were too weird.

“By the way, we can discuss tomorrow. Don’t forget to bring your contract with you, ok?” he smiled, “Unluckily, our time is over but have a nice evening, I’m sure you’ll find very interesting people here. Our boss can’t wait to meet you, too.” his voice was curious and he laughed softly.

Your eyes went wide open at the thought that you could meet the Devil in person. You have not already seen him but he was just a busy boss. He had so many employee who did the job for him. The idea of meeting him made you scare but you decided not to express your thoughts and you took a step back.

This was the first day of your new life. It would be unforgettable and unique.

You crossed the door of his office, finding yourself in the corridor and now you had to search for your room because your only desire was sleeping. You just hoped you would not have dreamt those monstrous sinners who burnt in the vast land of Hell. Their terrible voices still echoed in your mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks if you have read till here.  
> See you next time!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for having read my story.  
> Leave some comments and opinions if you want c:
> 
> See you again~


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